


I wasn't expecting that

by Mettespo



Category: The Newsroom (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Post-Season/Series 02, Post-election night
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2019-06-30 19:32:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15758247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mettespo/pseuds/Mettespo
Summary: Election night is over, Will has proposed and now they are trying to settle into their new life together amidst everything else that is going on.





	1. The Day After

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jenni3penny](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenni3penny/gifts).



> Jenni, you have waited a long time, but finally here it is!
> 
> I hope you like it - wherever it leads...

**The Day After**

With the sun shining into his penthouse bedroom it was a rare November morning where waking up wasn't as unpleasant as it normally was this time a year, especially considering that he was a late riser on any given day.

Will let out a quiet groan at the sun blinding him, but then he remembered the night before and was suddenly much more awake then just a second ago. He was engaged to MacKenzie, and she had accompanied him home after a successful election show and the spontaneous engagement party with the staff that had followed. The combination of alcohol and sheer exhaustion had led to them passing out almost immediately after arriving at his apartment, and he was very sure that he hadn't gotten more than three hours of sleep.

With a tired smile Will moved his arm to the other side of the mattress in search of his fiancée but found her half empty, sheets cold. A move of his head confirmed that he was indeed alone in his bed and he braced himself on one elbow, only to see Mac sitting on the floor at the side of the window front. She was wearing one of his large t-shirts she had put on the night before, covering her legs she had pulled up to her chest, and watched him with a cup of steaming coffee in her hand.

„Mornin'.“ His voice was gravelly from disuse and he frowned while trying to focus. „Why aren't you in bed anymore?“

Mac blinked once and then shrugged, looking a little sheepishly. „I couldn't sleep anymore.“

„I can see that, but why aren't you in bed?“ Will was confused. Mac had always enjoyed her first coffee in bed, surrounded by newspapers or with her laptop on her knees, while he was still asleep. Why wasn't she next to him right now, especially on a day like this, merely a few hours after accepting his proposal? Did she perhaps have second thoughts?

She took a sip of her coffee before answering. „I'm just thinking... I brought you a cup, too.“ She pointed at his nightstand.

„Thanks.“ He let his hand run over his face to get rid of his drowsiness and then scratched the back of his head. Even only just having woken up he could tell that something was off. „Why don't you come back to bed?“

„In a moment.“

Now Will was getting worried. „Okay, then what are you thinking about?“

Mac sighed. „I'm still catching up. Last night I thought I would never see you again and now I'm here. In your bedroom. With your ring on my finger.“

Will smiled and relaxed a little. „And I can't tell you how happy that makes me.“

She returned his smile but then turned serious again. „Me, too, Billy. But still... This is... It's all happening so fast.“ She shook her head and showed the same sheepish expression as before. „This is crazy. For so long I have wanted nothing more than to be with you again, and now I am and... You know, if this was April 2010, right after I walked back into your life... But now, with everything that has happened...“

„And that is on me, Mac... I'm so, so sorry for all I have done...“ After last night's revelation Will was prepared to take full responsibility for the fact that it has taken him so long to pull his head out of his arse, but he sensed that there was something else bothering Mac. „What's the matter, Honey?“

Averting her eyes she now looked out of the window, but her fingers, nervously running along the rim of the coffee mug, betrayed her. Finally she turned her eyes back at him and quietly said „I was wondering if maybe... if we could just take it slow for a while?“

Seeing the confused, but also slightly hurt expression on Will's face she quickly added. „I love you, Billy, of course I do. And I have wanted this for so long, but now that it's there I can't quite believe it. My brain somehow can't keep up with my heart...“

Will just looked at her for a moment, trying to understand what she meant, and then he nodded. „You probably feel a little overwhelmed by all of this, I get it. It's not that I have given you much that would have made you think we'd end up here...“ Reaching out his hand to her he went on. „C'me here.“

Seeing the hesitation in Mac's eyes he smiled again and spoke softly. „I'd just like to hold you. We won't do anything you're not ready for.“

Mac didn't immediately respond, but then she hung her head. „I'm sorry.“

„Don't be. I promised you that I will never hurt you again and I meant it.“

Mac nodded, relaxing when she realized that Will wasn't angry. „I know.“  
Still she hesitated, but when he lifted the covers for her to join him in bed she put the coffee down and slowly got up to slide under the blanket and lean against him. „I _know_ , Billy, I just need a little time...“

„Take all the time you need, Honey. I sure have taken mine.“ Will chuckled and pressed Mac against his chest. „You've said it yourself last night; it took me long enough... But here I am and I love you, MacKenzie.“

„I love you, too, Billy.“ Letting out a relieved sigh she snuggled up further against him. „Thanks for understanding.“

They both remained silent, and with the pressure taken off her they both enjoyed their closeness. It was still early enough so that they didn't have to rush to the office right away. Finally she voiced the thought that had preoccupied her before.

„Will? What happened last night? Why did you all of a sudden...“ She didn't go on but put her arm around his waist and pressed a kiss to his chest through his t-shirt to reassure him that she was here; that she didn't actually doubt him but was simply confused and felt like being on a roller coaster ride.

Before answering he took her hand and entangled their fingers on his chest. „I love you so much, Mac, I have never stopped, not once during all this time. But I also thought I couldn't forgive you... And then last night... You've opened my eyes to what I have done to _you_ over the past years, and Charlie said something and then the thought that I would never see you again...“

Will let his hand run up and down her back and took a deep breath. „Suddenly everything I had been holding on to felt so inane and I knew that this was it... If I ever want the chance to be happy again I had to get my head out of my ass and just go for it, instead of hanging on to the past. I can't tell you how relieved I was that you said 'yes`.“

Mac smiled. „Did you really think there was a chance I would say 'no'?“

„After that fight we had? It definitely was a distinct possibility, but I am very glad I was wrong.“

Stretching herself Mac moved on top of Will to face him and let her fingers run through his hair. „Me, too. I mean, I'm happy that you came looking for me and proposed. I was already seeing me sitting in my apartment, alone, out of a job and only getting to see you on TV.“ About to place a kiss on his lips she pulled back at the last moment. „By the way... Do I still have a job?“

„Mmmh...“ Will grinned. „I think I have to do a throrough interview with you first. After all I didn't get to do that the last time you walked into my newsroom... Job history, experience, your vision for the show...“

His gaze was met with a stern look, contradicted by a sparkle in Mac's eyes, „Shut it.“

This time their lips touched and after starting out slow the kiss quickly became deeper. Will groaned and let his hand run down her back, but before he got completely carried away he hesitantly ended it, remembering her earlier request for more time, and murmered against her lips. „I would really like to wake up with you in my arms tomorrow.“

Mac bit her lip and let her finger run over his eyebrow. „I think that can be arranged... I... Today I just needed to think about everything and...“ Suddenly she looked a little embarrassed once more, which caused him to let out a quiet laugh.

„What? Did you think I would ravage you the moment I opened my eyes?“

She blushed, but then grinned. „Wouldn't have been the first time...“

„You're the one to talk...I distinctly remember you being the culprit on many such occasions.“

„Don't tell me you didn't enjoy it.“ Mac smiled broadly, enjoying the banter.

„Did you hear me say that?“ Will teasingly lifted his eyebrows.

„No, but I...“ Mac stopped and then let out a sigh. „I missed this, you know? This back and forth between us without being afraid it's going to blow up in my face any moment.“

„I know...“ He pushed a strand of hair back behind her ear. „Me, too.“

After a look at the alarm clock Mac leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against Will's lips, who returned it just as gently. „We have to get up in a minute, Billy... Talk tonight?“

„Yeah...“ After a last kiss he let go off her so she could slide to the edge of the bed and get up. Watching her walk towards the bathroom he called after her. „I love you.“

Mac turned around in the door to look at him and gave him a wide, unguarded smile. „I know.“

 


	2. New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1

**New Beginnings**

**  
** Their reception in the newsroom about ninety minutes later had understandably been somewhat subdued, seeing that, just like them, most of the staff hadn't gotten more than three hours of sleep the night before. Still they were greeted by the smiling faces of their little work family; all of them happy that their long overdue reunion had finally taken place.

When Mac and Will entered the conference room for the first rundown meeting they didn't encounter the usual chatter and jokes thrown around the room, but most of the staffers were either clinging to their cups of coffee or had put their heads onto the table to grab a few more minutes of sleep.

While Will walked over to his usual chair Mac put her files on the table a little louder than necessary to get everybody's attention. „Okay guys, I know it's been a short night and believe me, I myself would love to still be in bed right now...“

The few people, who were a little more awake than the rest, snickered but were silenced by a stern look from Mac, who was heavily blushing nonetheless. „ _Sleeping_ , just like the rest of you.“

She purposely didn't look into Will's direction but could see from the corner of her eye that Sloan was whispering something into his ear with a wide grin on her face. Rolling her eyes she went on.  
„Let's try this again. It's gonna be a long day but we still have to put a show together. Election recap will of course be front and center; including the continuing division between the House and Senate and also approval of same sex marriage in Maine, Maryland and Washington. Tess and Gary, you work on that, Tamara and Maggie, you look at the legalization of recreational marijuana in Washington State and Colorado. Kendra, try and get one of the respective governors for comment on both topics, please?“

When her booker nodded Mac let her eyes roam across the room. „What else do we have to cover in the later blocks? Who's manned the assignment desk last? Any news we need to know about?“

Martin tiredly raised his hand to attract her attention. „Right before I came in here there was an alert for a magnitude 7.3 earthquake in Guatemala. No further information on damage or casualties yet.“

„Okay, that will have to get a couple minutes. D block, maybe the end of block C if the consequences are really dire. Keep an eye on that and find out which field reporter will be dispatched there; I guess it will be Juan or Sally. Coordinate with dayside regarding footage we might use and bring me an update in an hour, okay?“

The moment Martin showed his consent Mac sighed and looked around the table, wishing she could just skip over the next part. „You all know that the Genoa suit will be filed today, probably already has been. Charly will brief us on the details later, and for now nobody is to give any comment to anybody on this. That is a direct order from Rebecca Halliday, understood?“

When everybody quietly mumbled their okays she sighed again. „Okay, everybody go get some coffee and then let's meet again in three hours. If anything comes up in the meantime I will be in my office.“

The group shuffled onto its feet and slowly moved out of the room, so that only Will and Mac were left, the former getting up and strolling over until he was standing right in front of her. „That was pretty impressive, you know that?“

„What?“ Mac looked confused and didn't object to him taking her hand in his.

„Hardly anybody is able to keep their eyes open, including me, I might add, and you gave a performance as if you just came back from vacation.“

She grinned. „Then I really did good; I feel like I could fall asleep just standing here... Anyway, come with me.“

She pulled him to the door of the conference room and then through the bullpen to her office, making Will wonder if she had forgotten that she had always – with a few memorable exceptions – insisted on not bringing their relationship into the workplace. Of course this didn't go unnoticed by the staff, and he really didn't want to know what they were thinking – and probably talking about – when Mac closed the door behind them.

Immediately he pulled her into his arms and she leaned against his chest. „God, I am so tired...“

„I know, me too.“ He pressed a long kiss into her hair, but then she sighed and took a step back, not without letting her hands run slowly down his chest. „We don't have time, Billy, we need to call my parents.“

„What?“ He hadn't even thought about that until now and actually wasn't sure if he was ready for it right this moment. „You want to do that _now_?“

„Of course, we need to tell them before they might hear it from somebody else. With everybody that has been around here last night I wouldn't be surprised if the tabloids already have their hands on our engagement.“

„Oh, right.“ Will followed her when she went around her desk and sat down to open her Skype window. When he put his hands on her shoulders from behind she leaned back and looked up at him. „Are you okay with this?“

He hesitated a second too long. „Will?“

„I... Yes, sure. I wasn't really prepared for this, but you are right, they should here it from you.“

„From _us_.“ She smirked. „But if you like to you can stay out of the picture when I start the call, so that I can ease in.“

Will seemed relieved. „That sounds like a sensible idea. Go ahe... No, wait!“

When Mac looked back up at him, the mouse hovering over the call button, she noticed that he appeared to be uncomfortable. „Why?“

„Uh... What do your... What did you tell your parents about why we broke up? How much do they know?“

„Don't worry, Billy.“ She took one of his hands from her shoulder and pressed a kiss to his palm. „I never went into details, but I told them it was all my fault. They will be so happy to hear that we are back together.“ When she saw some doubt in his eyes she squeezed his hand. „They will, trust me. They really missed you.“

„Oh, Honey...“ Will leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead and took a deep breath. „Okay, go for it.“

He stepped to the side and half sat on her desk while Mac gave him a last smile and started the video call, not letting go of his hand. While the call was going through she let her thumb stroke over his knuckles, but when her parents didn't pick up her expression changed to disappointment. „I guess I should have checked in if they are home first, sorry.“

„No problem, we can try again later.“ Will leaned in for a lingering kiss and cupped her cheek with his free hand. He let his tongue probe against her lips and she opened them with a content sigh. It was a slow, deep kiss that drove all thoughts of her parents from her mind, so that she didn't realize that the ringing sound stopped when the call was finally accepted.

„Honey, I'm sorry it took me so...“ Claire McHale stopped mid-sentence when the video connetion was established a couple seconds after the sound, and she saw her daughter kissing a man that was unmistakenly Will McAvoy. „Oh my... _MacKenzie? Will?_ “

Immediately Mac and Will moved apart, both blushing heavily, and while Will instinctively wanted to move out of the picture again, Mac quickly grabbed his arm to keep him next to her. „Hi, Mom...“

„Well, well, is there maybe something you wanted to tell us?“ Her mother was smiling widely, though her surprise could still be seen on her face.

„Actually...“ Mac started but was interrupted again.

„Wait a moment, Sweetheart, let me get your father first.“ Sensing that this was important Claire turned her head and called for her husband. „Edward, come here for a moment, please. Quickly.“

While they waited she appreciatively looked at the man on her screen. „It is so good to see you, Will, you look well.“

„Thank you, Claire, so do you. How are you?“

„Fine, thank you. But I have an inkling that you didn't call to... Oh, there is your father. Edward, come here.“

Edward McHale appeared on the screen and smiled when he saw his daughter, but then his eyes landed on the man next to her. „Will, what a surprise.“

He didn't go on but looked at his wife, who practically beamed at him and patted his hand. „Listen, I think these two have something to tell us.“

When they turned their eyes back to the computer screen they were greeted by two faces sporting a slightly nervous smile, but then Mac lifted her hand to let them see her engagement ring. „Well, Mom, Dad, we actually called to let you know that there is a wedding to plan.“

Claire's jaw dropped. From what she had seen at the beginning of the call she knew that good news were coming, but she had expected something like 'We are back together' and not a marriage announcement. „I... But... MacKenzie? We didn't even know that you are back together!"

„That's a long story, Mom, we'll have to get into that later, we are at work.“

„Oh, alright, Darling.“ She smiled at her daughter. „No wonder you look so radiant; congratulations, you two! Oh, I can't wait to hear the whole story!

Will cleared his throat and looked at Mac's father. „Edward, I... Well, even if it might be a little late, I would like to formerly ask you for your daughter's hand in marriage.“

„It _is_ a wee bit redundant now, isn't it?“ Edward winked, but still being incredibly nervous Will missed that.

„Yeah, I... I guess... It was a rather crazy situation last night, so...“

„Will, he's messing with you.“ Mac put her hand on his thigh, that rested on the arm of her chair, and leaned her head against his side, smiling reassuringly.

Edward chuckled. „Of course I am, you know we've always seen you as a part of this family. Just promise me that you will take good care of my little girl.“

Will let out a relieved sigh. „With all my heart, Edward. I will never hurt her again.“

He saw both of Mac's parents frown, but before they could say anything Mac butted in. „Mom, Dad, we don't have much time, we just wanted to let you know before you read it in some paper or on the internet. We will call you later this week, okay?“

„Oh yes, certainly, Honey. Don't wait too long, we want to know everything.“ Claire smiled. „We love you both very much and are so happy for you.“

Mac returned the smile with a tear in her eye, while Will choked up and only managed to nod and put his arm around his fiancée's shoulder. „We love you, too, Mom. We'll talk shortly.“

She disconnected the call and stood up to put her arms around Will. „See, I've told you they'd be happy.“

„Yeah...“ He sighed and pulled her closer again. „I've missed them, you know?“

Mac didn't reply but let her hand run through his hair and moved onto her toes for a kiss. This seemed to ground Will a little, whose head was full of 'what ifs' and regrets that it had taken him so long to get over himself. How much time had they wasted because of his stubbornness and anger!

Mac felt that he wasn't completely with her and was sure she knew what he was thinking about, so she whispered against his lips. „Don't, Billy.“

Just hearing her voice helped him to put the negative thoughts out of his mind, and he immediately returned the kiss when she covered his lips again. She was here, in his arms, and she would always be from now on. So he deepened the kiss; after all, who was he to stop if she had been the one initiating it, although they were at the office. He had never seen is as strict as she had, and right now they definitely had some making up to do for lost time.

Mac seemed to feel the same and didn't make any attempt to break the kiss, quietly moaning when he let his hands run down to cup her ass. Neither of them heard her office door open and hastily broke apart when somebody slightly coughed behind them. Blushing once more they turned around and faced a smirking Sloan.

„Can't keep your hands off her, can you?“

„Jeez, you could have knocked, you know?“ Mac rolled her eyes.

„Nuuh, but I get it. You're in love and you want to be alone...“ Sloan let out an exaggerated sigh, but then grinned again. „You did good last night, big brother.“

Will raised an eyebrow. „Are you talking about the show or...?“

Sloan snorted. „Definitely not the show, we will have a talk later about cutting me off all the time. Not nice!“

He grinned. „Well, then... Yeah, I did good, thanks.“

„Don't brag about it, it was long overdue.“

Throwing a look at Mac he pointed at the door. „I think I better go now...“

„Oh sure, leave _me_ to the inquisition!“ She faked outrage, but couldn't quite hide her smile.

„Trust me, she doesn't have any real power, Honey.“ Winking he turned around and left the room while Sloan moved to sit down in front of Mac's desk, getting comfortable.

„So, what exactly happened last night? And more importantly, what happened after you went home? I want all of the details, Kenz. _De-tails!_ “

Mac sat down again and leaned back. „I am certainly _not_ discussing my sex life with you, if that's what you're referring to.“

„Oh, come on, we've been through so much with the two of you; we deserve a little reward, don't you think?“

„You're the one to talk, what the fuck was that last night? Kissing Don in the middle of the show?“

Sloan blushed heavily. „That was... I... We had... Hey, we are not the news, you guys are!“

„No, we are not. Our private life will hopefully not be part of the daily newsroom gossip anymore. And anyway, we got home after five a.m., what do you _think_ happened?“

„Well, I can think of... Wait... Don't tell me..You didn't...?“ Sloan almost sounded disappointed and looked at her with big eyes.

„I'm neither denying nor confirming anything.“ Putting on her glasses Mac took a file into her hand and pointedly looked at Sloan.. „Anything else?“

Her friend just stared at her, but when she realized that Mac wasn't going to give up any details she got up, mumbling incomprehensibly under her breath. At the door she turned around. „Oh, by the way, my segment tonight will be about Wall Streets reaction to the election results and the consequences for the debt ceiling, if that's okay with you?“

„Whatever you want.“ Mac waved her off, certain that Sloan knew best which economically important topics they had to cover. Holding her gaze she sighed. „Sloan, let us figure everything out for ourselves first, 'kay? We can go for drinks next week, if you like.“

Her friend stayed silent for a moment, but then she nodded. „Okay. I guess it's all pretty overwhelming right now?“

„You have no idea."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The day went on with the newsroom being unusual quiet, a result of the exhaustion that was felt by all of the staff. Charlie had come down after lunch to give a pep talk to the team, avoiding the Genoa business for now, but it was clear that the bullpen would clear out as soon as the show was over.

Most of it would be a rehash of election night, but in the later blocks the did include they Guatemala earthquake, the worst since 1976 with so far 39 deaths, Turkey's plans to ask the US to station anti-aircraft missiles in the country as a protection from Syrian attacks as well as a mentioning of Carmen Basilio's passing at age 85, American boxing world champion most famous for defeating Sugar Ray Robinson for the Middleweight title in 1957.

Ten minutes before Will had to go into the studio for last lighting and sound tests Mac went to his office. „You all set?“

Looking up from his cue cards Will smiled. „Yeah, but I am really glad when it's over.“

„I know.“ Mac moved further into the room and he got up to meet her. „But Shelly did a good job with your make-up, the audience won't notice how tired you are.“

„I'm not just talking about being tired...“ Will grinned lewdly and put his arms around her waist. „We should have taken today off.“

„I wish...“ Mac indulged herself in leaning against him and closed her eyes for a moment. She felt like she could fall asleep standing right here, and if she could only get a minute of rest now, she might be able to get through the hour in the control room unscathed.

The next thing she knew was that Will stroked through her hair and his chest was shaking with quiet laughter. „Mmmh...?“

„Did you actually just fall asleep on me?“

„Of course not.“ The way she fought to open her eyes betrayed her own words, though, and Will immediately changed into protector mode.

„Why don't you go home, Honey? Jim can handle the show tonight and you could use some sleep.“

„Looking like I've been grown in a place where it's dark and damp, eh?“ She tiredly murmered the words into his chest, but then she took a deep breath and pushed herself off of him. „I'm fine and you better get ready.“

„Mac...“

Leaning up she gave him a kiss before moving towards the door, not wanting to discuss this. „Have a good show.“

 


	3. What A Difference A Day Makes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their second morning together.

**What A Difference A Day Makes**

As predicted the bullpen emptied out quickly after the show, and Will also hurried to get changed and then pick up Mac in her office. When he walked over, casually dressed in jeans and a sweater, he knocked at her doorframe. "Are you ready?"

"Just a sec." Mac finished writing an e-mail and then shut down her computer before leaning back to look at Will. "Good show tonight."

"You, too." Will smiled. "I was thinking; how about I order some food and we pick it up on our way home? Would you prefer Chinese or rather Italian?"

She slowly got up and got her coat. "Chinese sounds fine. But could we go to my place? I'll need clean clothes tomorrow and pack my overnight bag again. You could take yours and I'll bring enough tomorrow to last through the weekend?"

"Good thinking. Let me get my bag." Will left for his office and when he came back out Mac was already waiting for him.

"There's a nice Chinese place directly on Times Square, around the corner from me. We can walk to my apartment from there."

"Great, but..." He dropped his bag and pulled her into his arms. "You are okay with me coming to your place?"

Mac frowned. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well... You've said you need time. I don't want you to feel pressured, so if you'd rather stay alone tonight...?"

"Of course not." Although she brushed him off she was touched by his consideration and gave him a fond smile. "Needing time doesn't mean I don't want to _be_ with you. But thanks for asking."

Reassured Will pressed a soft kiss to her lips. "Then let's get out of here."

Too tired to speak more than necessary Mac hummed her consent and let Will guide her to the elevators. Downstairs the car was already waiting and with a relieved sigh she slid into the back. After giving her address to the driver she basically slumped against Will who immediately put his arms around her again.

Once they got to Times Square and had picked up their dinner Will had pre-ordered from the car, they walked the short distance to MacKenzie's building and rode the elevator up to the sixth floor. While Mac changed into more comfortable clothes Will searched her kitchen for plates to set the table. When she emerged from her bedroom, wearing loosely fitting plaid lounge pants and a t-shirt, he was already done, and with a grateful smile she sat down opposite to him.

"I'm so tired, I don't think I can eat much." Despite her words she put a handful of dumplings as well as a rather ambitious portion of Kung Pao Chicken on her plate, which wasn't missed by Will. He was glad, because he was very aware of the fact that he had probably never known her to be this thin. He had noticed immediately when she had come back to New York three and a half years ago, but the increasing stress over the last weeks had also taken its toll. He silently vowed to himself that from now on he would take care that she didn't skip meals anymore, as she had most certainly done too often lately.

"Just eat up and then we can go to bed; I'm also beat." He reached for the carton next to him and started to fill his plate with Sweet and Sour Pork.

"We wanted to talk", she reminded him, already having finished her second dumpling and reaching for the third.

"I know, but I guess we should be able to keep our eyes open when we sit down?"

"But..."

Will smiled. "Don't worry, we don't have to do it today. I'm not going anywhere and it will probably be more effective when we're awake, don't you think?"

"Yeah..." Mac sighed. "If you don't mind?"

"Not at all. As I said, I'm also tired."

She smiled and they continued their meal in a comfortable silence. Afterwards Mac put the leftovers into the fridge, while Will quickly got rid of the chopsticks and rinsed their plates. Then he picked up his bag and followed her to her bedroom. "Wow, nice view."

She glanced to the window facing out to Times Square with its bright lights, illuminating her apartment, and shrugged. "It has its advantages, sometimes I don't even need my night light. But we can draw the curtains if it's too bright for you."

"No, I don't mind. Bathroom?" He pointed at a door, and when Mac nodded he headed for it. "I'll be right back."

After he had changed and brushed his teeth he went back into the bedroom, quickly squeezing Mac's hand when she passed him to also get ready to sleep. When she came back he was already in bed, having chosen the side he had always been on without even thinking about it. Mac couldn't hide a smile when she noticed it and joined him, snuggling up against him without any hesitation.

His arm placed around her shoulder he held her close to him and buried his face in her hair. "Finally..."

"What?"

Will sighed contentedly. "I've been waiting for this all day."

Mac smiled against his chest. "Me, too."

She let her hand roam over his chest and stomach, but they were both too tired to engage in more than a few more mumbled words and a good night kiss before they drifted off to sleep.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

   
Unlike the day before this time Will indeed woke up with Mac in his arms, who was still dead to the world.

She had moved a little during the course of the night, so that her right leg was placed between his and her upper body was lying half atop of him. He didn't mind and pressed his face into her hair, inhaling her scent. She still smelled like she used to, something he had already noticed again and again throughout the last three years, whenever he had been standing next to her. It had been hell not to be able to take her in his arms, regardless of all the issues he'd still had at that time.

Now he was overwhelmed by his memories of the old days. Waking up together, cuddling, kissing, laughing, making out, all this and more. He was immensely grateful that he had gotten a second chance, and all he wanted right now was to savor this feeling of holding Mac in his arms again. The previous night they had both been too exhausted to really grasp the situation, but now he closed his eyes and tried to sort through the whole range of emotions that was running through him.

The most prominent feeling was pure bliss that he was here with Mac, but there was also a little nervousness about how everything would go forward from here, as well as a tiny portion of angst that he might screw everything up again. They had hardly talked about what had happened in the past yet, and he not only understood that Mac needed more time before they started their physical relationship again, but he agreed that it was the right thing to do.

Not that this restraint was coming easy. Everything within him was screaming to hold Mac, to touch her, to kiss her and reacquaint himself with her body. He wanted to caress her soft skin, to taste her, to feel her long legs wrapped around him and to hear the little gasps and cries she always used to let out.

When Mac shifted a little in her sleep he took the chance to roll on his side so that he could look into her face, careful not to wake her up. But despite the still obvious lack of sleep she'd had over the last weeks, maybe months, she was so incredibly beautiful and he had to muster all his willpower to not touch her.

In his head he repeated the promise he had given to never hurt her again, and he added a vow to take care of her from now on. He knew that she would resent it if he tried to patronize her, always being adamant that she was able to watch out for herself, but that didn't mean that he couldn't do it in more subtle ways.

Right now he could let her sleep as long as possible before they had to get up, so he was willing his erection to go down, but as he could hardly think about anything except Mac's warm body snuggled into him, his attempt was rather futile. Still he didn't act on his desire but simply remained nestled next to her, thinking about the past and the future, until she started to wake up. Then he couldn't hold back anymore and put his hand on her hip, letting it softly run up and down her thigh.

After a moment a small smile appeared on Mac's lips and she let out a contented moan. "Mmmh... this isn't fair..."

"Good morning, Honey." Will leaned forward to press a light kiss against her lips. "What's not fair?"

She sighed and opened her eyes. "You know exactly how much I like to wake up like this. _And_ what it does to me."

"Just checking if it still does." His teasing tone changed into something more serious. "Sorry, I just couldn't resist. No ulterior motifs though, I promise."

Mac stretched out and shifted her body to fully lie on top of him, pressing her lips against his, but she pulled back when he didn't respond as expected.

After a moment of silence Will drew a deep breath. "So... I take it that kissing is okay for you?" He used a light tone, but he actually was still trying to figure out where they were in regard of their physical relationship and was looking for some guidance.

"Oh..." Mac moved her hand into his hair, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "Kissing is _definitely_ okay..."

"Okay... Good to know." This time Will pursued the kiss and for several minutes they forgot everything around them. He thoroughly explored the warmth of her mouth, accompanied by the sexy sounds he had dreamed about before, and let his hands roam over her body. Desperate to feel her skin he moved them under her shirt but didn't go further than caressing the side of her breasts, that were pressed against him, with his thumbs.

When they needed to stop for air he lifted his head once more for another quick peck before he let it fall back against the pillow. "I just want to know what you're comfortable with."

Mac went quiet for a moment and put her hand to his cheek. "I am not sure I know myself.... Why don't we play it by ear and I will let you know if I need you to stop? Would that be okay for you?"

"Of course. I told you to take all the time you need." Will smiled, but with his hard cock pressing into her Mac knew that this situation wasn't as easy for him as he made it look, so she leaned down again and murmured against his lips.

"I think I can help you out right now..."

She started to let her hand run down his body, but when Will figured out where it was heading he quickly grabbed her wrist to pull it up again, groaning. "I am going to hate myself for this when I take a cold shower in a minute, but the first time I want to come together with you."

"Are you sure?"

When he nodded a smile showed on Mac's face, but she blushed at the same time. "I'm sorry, Billy, but I promise I'll make it up to you."

"Definitely looking forward to that." With a playful slap to her ass cheek he started to move out from under her. "And you could start with making a strong coffee, please?"


	4. Still A Ways To Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thursday - Day 2 after their engagement

**Still A Ways To Go**

  
After a leisurely breakfast Mac and Will arrived at AWM about half an hour before the first pitch meeting this Thursday morning.

Usually at least Mac was in much earlier than that, although she didn't have to. Today they had decided to take it easy, and Mac, a tingling running through her at the thought of the early morning activities they had indulged in the first time around, had the distinct feeling, that from now on that would happen much more often.

When they entered the elevator to ride up to their floor, Sloan jumped in just before the doors closed. Seeing Mac leaning against Will with his arm around her shoulder, she grinned. "I take it you had a lovely night? I hope it wasn't too short?"

"Sloan!" Mac hissed and gave her an annoyed look, glad that Will was engrossed in a message he had just received on his phone. "Shut it."

At least having the decency to look contrite Sloan murmered "Sorry", but Mac wasn't sure how sincere the apology had actually been, so she decided to retaliate.

"Did you and Don see each other last night?"

"Nah...." Sloan glanced at Will, but went on when she saw him still working the keys of his phone, lowering her voice. "We... We haven't really talked yet. About... you know..."

"You haven't talked? _That_ must have been awkward yesterday."

"Tell me about it...." Sloan sighed. "Are you up for a drink tonight?"

Mac shook her head. "Sorry, Sloan, but this week won't work out. Next week, okay?"

"Sure." Sloan spoke as the elevator doors opened and stepped outside. "See you at the pitch meeting."

Taking Will's hand Mac followed her and walked them towards the bullpen, while he put the phone back in his pocket.

"Has Sloan been hassling you all this time?"

Mac made a face. "You heard that? I thought you were... Never mind. Yeah, I told you that you've left me to the inquisiton, every chance she got yesterday."

"Sorry, but I know you can take her." Will grinned and squeezed her hand. "Charlie also said a couple of things yesterday; I guess we'll have to get used to it."

"Not if I can help it." Mac pressed a quick kiss to Will's cheek before she opened the door to the newsroom, but didn't let go off his hand. Again he decided not to complain about this public display of affection, something she didn't approve of during their earlier relationship. He assumed that this time around she didn't care, because their staff had been privy to so many of their private matters already. Or maybe she simply hadn't thought about it.

Before they reached the row of glass-walled offices they were approached by Jenna. "Charlie wants to see you as soon as possible."

"Good morning to you, too." Will deadpanned. "We'll go right up, thanks."

Mac elbowed him into his side and smiled at the girl, while already heading to her office to take off her coat. Will had followed her and hung his jacket next to hers, before they both walked back to the elevators.

"You have your own office, you know?"

"Sure, but this way I won't forget to take you home with me tonight." Will's grin disappeared when Mac pinched him, and he yelped. "Sorry! But seriously, it's just still so new."

Eying him from the side Mac didn't say anything until they entered the elevator again. This time they rode alone and she stepped right in front of him, whispering seductively. "Then I guess I'll have to make sure you remember me..."

Leaning up on her toes she covered his lips and pushed herself against him. Will immediately put his hands on her hips to hold her in place and nudged her mouth open with his tongue. For a moment they forgot were they were, but then Mac ended the kiss with a sigh and murmered against his lips. "Does that help?"

Will frowned for a moment, completely absorbed by the kiss, but then he recalled what they had been talking about before and grinned "Definitely. And by the way, I like the new you."

When Mac raised one eyebrow in question he winked. "You know. kissing, holding hands..."

She shrugged, blushing slighlty. "Well, you've just said it yourself, it's still new..."

Their lips still only an inch apart, Will moved even closer. "Then _I_ will need to make sure that it never gets old..."

He managed to steal one more kiss before the elevator doors opened, and with a wide smile Mac took his hand from her waist and pulled him out after her. When they walked up to Charlie's office, Millie, his assistent, got up from her chair and came around her desk.

"Congratulations, Charlie told me what happened on election night." Shaking their hands she then pointed at the door. "Go right in, he is expecting you."

"Thanks, Millie." Mac gave her a warm smile while Will nodded, and they headed for Charlie's office, entering immediately after a short knock.

"Morning, Charlie. You wanted to see us?"

"There's the two love birds! You look damn happy?" Charlie beamed at them.

"That's because we are." Will pulled Mac into his side and then lookd back at his boss. "Listen, Charlie, I know this all comes down to you and I – _we_ – would like to thank you for everything you've done for us. I don't think I said that the other night."

Charlie waved him off, but Will already continued. "We'd like to invite Nancy and you to dinner, once all that's going on has died down a little."

"We'd be fucking delighted! But speaking of... Sit down."

Letting go of Mac they both sat down in the chairs in front of Charlie's desk and waited for him to continue.

"Okay..." Charlie sighed. "You know that CNN and CBS got exclusives with Obama yesterday, while our request was denied. Looks like we are still benched after this fucking Genoa desaster. To rectify that, we - meaning Reese, marketing and myself - want you, Will, to do the talkshow circle, morning shows and late night. And you'll start today with 'What's Cooking?', it's all set up."

"Fuck." Will swore. " _That_ show? How is anybody supposed to discuss serious topics when there are countless interruptions to let the cook explain the recipe? We should just convince the viewers by delivering solid news, starting with the Petraeus story that will probably break today."

Mac reached over to rest her hand on Will's arm. "We will be ready, Billy. I have already assigned Jim and Maggie yesterday to work on the story background, and Kendra is lining up interview guests. We will be ready to go as soon as there is a first mentioning. But I think Charlie is right, we have to act instead of react. You've seen the first stories that came out yesterday..."

Of course, But have you ever seen _that_ show? I mean, the name says it all! It's a joke of a show, and the studio guests are just a sideshow for the cooking!"

"How do _you_ know that? "Mac gave him a suspiscious look. "Just put on your Jay Leno persona and it'll be fine."

Will scowled, but before he found an answer Charlie interrupted them. "It's just to ease in, Will, to show the American public that we are decent people. The more important, detailed interviews will come later."

Will was quiet for a moment, but then he sighed. "Okay... But that doesn't mean I don't hate it."

As soon as the anchor had reluctantly agreed, Charlie sprung into action. "Rebecca will brief you, and a car will pick you up at eleven fourty-five. Here's a list of the shows you will do; one today, two tomorrow and then The Late Show on Monday. And you will also do an interview with the New York Times and the Washington Post later this afternoon.

"I do have to host a show tonight!" Will protested. "I need time to write my script."

"You know this is important.. " Charlie's tone didn't leave any room for negotiation, nevertheless Will tried to get out of it.

"I don't have the time to..."

"I will do it. "Mac interrupted him. "I will start the script and you can finish and fine-tune it when you are done."

Knowing her work load Will shook his head. "You don't have the time, either. I'll work on it in the car."

"No, you won't. I'll have Jim send you his notes on Petraeus and you can work on some talking points for the interviews. We need to be ready in case it breaks today. I'll do the rest of the script." Standing up she looked at Charlie. "Don't worry, we've got it."

"Mac..." Will sighed.

Stretching out her hand she got up. "Come on, you can try to convince me on the way down."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  
After, as expected, having won their little argument, Mac started the pitch meeting while Will prepared for his first TV engagement.

The earthquake in Guatemala with a now even higher death toll would again be covered, also the election of Xi Jinping as Secretary General of China's Communist Party. More stories would be added during the course of the day, but they also needed to leave room for the Petraeus story that could potentially be breaking today.

"Jim, how are you getting along with background on General Petraeus? Who do you have lined up for an interview?"

"The memo on his background is almost finished, with the main focus on his time as commanding general of the ISAF as well as his following post as CIA director. For now we have Lt. General William S. Wallace for an interview, who served with him during the invasion of Kuwait in 2003, and we are talking to Meghan O'Sullivan, chief advisor to Bush 43 during the Iraq war. We cannot book anybody in regard to the affair as long as we don't have more details. We did try to get Broadwell, the biographer he had the affair with, but she declined to talk to us."

"Okay, keep working on that. I talked to Danny at the White House earlier, and he said that something is going on there. Petraeus has been summoned, so it's likely happening today. But if it isn't..." Mac looked around. "...what else do we have?"

Tamara lifted her hand. "New York City has ordered a temporary gas-rationing system after Hurricane Sandy. Starting tomorrow morning, most cars are only allowed to be filled up every other day, depending on the license plate number. Cabs, busses, emergency vehicles and the likes are exempt."

"Okay." Mac nodded. "Get some reactions on that. What else? Gary? Tessa?"

"There's an execution scheduled tonight in Texas; the so-called 'serial killer-in-training' was convicted for murdering a 44-year old woman during a break-in."

"A US Predator drone was shot at, but not hit, by two Iranian fighter jets in international waters over the Gulf."

"The shooter of Gaby Giffords has his sentencing hearing today in Arizona."

"Great." Mac smiled. "Get me more information on all that and then we'll see what else comes up til the first rundown. Class dismissed." While everybody got up and gathered their notes, she called her senior producer. "Jim, can I talk to you a for second? My office?"

When he nodded his assent she left the room and was soon joined by him, still carrying his papers. Sitting down in her chair she looked at him. "Okay, Jim, so what happened with the Michigan 1 call on Tuesday night?"

Jim looked at her and scratched his head. "Shit... How did you find out?"

"I know everything, you should know that by now."

Sighing he looked at his papers, but then he squared his shoulders. "It was my fault. I mixed up the abbreviations for Michigan and Mississippi. As soon as I became aware of it I had Jake take it down from the news feed. Sorry about that." After a second he added. "I should mention that Kathy from the decision desk urged me to correct it on air."

Watching him for a long moment Mac finally shook her head. "Don't let it happen again."

"I won't, thanks" Jim turned to leave the office but hesitated. Mac, who had already put her focus back on the paper in front of her, looked up again and noticed his slightly uncomfortable expression.

"Anything else?"

"Well, I... We haven't really had the time to talk yet, and I know that now is not the right moment either, but I wanted tell you that I am really happy for you."

Mac smiled broadly. "Thanks, Jim."

He shifted on his feet, obviously still feeling awkward. "Are _you_ happy?

Touched that he cared for her so much Mac rose to her feet again and walked over to to where he stood. She knew that although he had gotten over his professional doubts regarding Will, he had never really trusted him in regard of how he was treating her. And he sure had good reason for that, given what he had seen over their time at ACN and never having experienced the real Will before.

To emphasis her point she put her hands on his shoulders and openly returned his worried gaze. "Yes, I am truly happy. I am right where I have wanted to be for the past 6 years." She smiled warmly. "You're a good guy, Jim, but don't worry about me. I think I can say that you'll see a completely different side of Will from now on."

"Okay..." Jim hesitantly nodded. "Okay then... But you know, if anything is going on, I'm on your side."

"I know." She affectionately squeezed his shoulder before she took a step back. "Now get out."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  
When Will arrived at the set of 'What's Cooking', he was greeted by an intern and led to the make-up room. While a young woman in her twenties worked on him, an associate producer joined them to fill him in on the concept of the show and the direction the interview would be going. Afterwards he waited in the green room until he was led to the stage entrance. The audience was already assembled and a poor sap was fulfilling the ungrateful task of firing them up.

The set was dominated by a generous kitchen, where the ingredients for today's meal were already laid out. In front of the counter, where the cook of the day would be working, was a sitting area, so that the audience could always observe what was happening in the kitchen, while the host was talking to her guest.

While Will was assessing the studio set-up, he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned around to face Marsha Grey, said host. "Hello Will, so nice to meet you. I have to get on air now, but I know you're a pro, so don't you worry about a thing."

Before Will could reply she was already gone and the introductory jingle played, as he was joined by a woman in her thirties, who was wearing a chef's uniform. "Will McAvoy, what a pleasure to meet you, I am a huge fan."

When she noticed his confused look, she added her name. "Maria Ortiz, I'll be the chef today."

"Nice to meet you. What's on the..." Will was interrupted when they were introduced by their host and ushered onto the stage. Welcomed by warm applause Marsha spoke to Maria first.

"Maria, it's so good to have you back with us. What delicious meal will you be cooking for us today?"

"Well, it's not long until Thanksgiving, so I have chosen to prepare a lovely autumn appetizer, specifically a Goat Cheese Mousse with a Red Wine-Caramel Sauce, followed by an Apple Cider-Ginger Brined Turkey with Garlic Mashed Potatoes."

"That really sounds exquisite. Do you already have a turkey in the oven, so that we'll get to taste it?"

"Of course." Maria smiled. "And for dessert we will have a Mango-Coconut Cream Tart for some tropical feeling in this dark season."

"Excellent, I am definitely looking forward to that. Please, get started, I'll be with you right away." When Maria took her place behind the kitchen counter she turned to Will. "I hope you brought some appetite, Will?"

"I can't wait to taste it, it sounds delicious." Will gave his answer with an ambiable smile, not revealing in the slightest how much he hated being on the show.

"Wonderful. Please take a seat, and I will be back in a minute after Maria has shown us how to start today's menu."

Doing as he was told Will sat down and took a sip from the water standing on the table in front of him, while the camera focused on the two women. When Marsha came back, he politely indicated rising and settled back once she sat down as well.

"So, Will..." The predatory look was only partially covered by her wide smile, making him feel like he was facing the big bad wolf. He knew exactly that this wasn't intended to be a serious interview about what had happened at ACN recently, but a conversation that would only scratch the surface and keep the audience entertained. "...you have been in the media lately regarding some turmoil about your reporting on an alleged gas attack by US troops. We will get to that in a moment, but I would like to start with your beginnings. Tell us how you got to be where you are now."

"How long is your show?"

After the audience's laughter had subsided Marsha winked at Will. "You've got me there, give us the short version."

"Well, I grew up in a small town outside a town outside of Lincoln, Nebraska, and then went to the University of Nebraska on a football scholarship - Go Huskers!" He smiled affably when a couple of cheers came from the audience. "After I finished law school I went to work as a prosecutor for the New York District Attorney's Office..."

"With a very high conviction rate, as I heard." Marsha interrupted him, obviously impressed.

"I guess I didn't do too bad." Will admitted with a shrug. "In 1989 I joined the speech writing staff of Bush 41, where I stayed for a couple of years before joining ACN as a legal correspondent and later anchor of Newsnight."

"Wait, aren't you skipping something here? I believe most people know that you were thrown in at the deep end and had to fill in as an anchor for an incredible 16 hours on 9/11. How did that happen, and how did it make you feel?"

"It was a very unfortunate series of events that led to that. Dan Marsh, the actual anchor, had been grounded in Chicago, Ed Wyatt wasn't able to cross the Hudson River to get to the studio, and the other anchors, Julie Chen and Maria Hereira, didn't make it in either. I had already been in the building, so they put me in front of the camera."

"You did a wonderful job that day. But how did it make you feel?"

Will mused for a moment, before he spoke. "Sad. Terrified. And very very humble... Everybody was in shock, so I wasn't even nervous, and all we could do was not to leave our viewers alone with what was happening. Washington did a great job covering the attack on the Pentagon, and we were glad that they could take over when the first news came in that family members and friends of our staff were likely among the victims at the Twin Towers..."  He paused again. "It was a horrific day and in the end nobody was feeling good, even though we did the best we could."

The audience rewarded Will's candidness with warm applause before the host of the show took over again. "I am sure it was very difficult. Now please excuse me for a second while I check on our appetizers. Maria, how are you..."

While Marsha got up and walked over to the cooking station Will zoned out and had his thoughts go back to that horrific day a little longer, but then he forced himself to return to the present. He knew that this had only been the start, and that Marsha would somehow build on this to take the conversation to Genoa.

When the preparation of the main course had been discussed she came back, carrying two small plates with the appetizer for them to taste.

"Mmmh, very good." Will, only having filled his spoon with a tiny portion, lied without any hesitation, although he cringed at the inside; goat cheese was definitely _not_ on his list of favourite foods, no matter how it was prepared. "Unusual, but very tasty."

Well, at least the second part was true, even if the taste made him want to use a spittoon. Marsha also only ate a couple of bites – Couldn't look greedy on TV, Will assumed – and then turned her attention to Will again.

"So, Will. On 9/11 you truly did the best you could, your whole team did. So how did you get from there to accusing the US military of a war crime?"

Taking a deep breath Will openly looked at her, moving his gaze to the audience and camera during his answer repeatedly. "First of all I would like to emphasize that most of the people I worked with on 9/11 had nothing to do with what happened recently. Secondly I hope you understand that I cannot go into very much detail, as this is an ongoing legal matter."

When Marsha nodded he went on. "What I _can_ say is that our report on 'Operation Genoa', as it was called, was another concatenation of circumstances. We had several sources confirming the initial lead we had been given, and we thoroughly vetted the people we talked to. We also had three so-called 'red team' meetings, where the story was looked at from all angles and taken apart. This wasn't a quick shot; our legal counsel gave us the green light, and only after eleven months, almost a _whole year_ of research, we aired the story. And I am confident in saying that with the material we had, many other media outlets would probably have published the story much earlier."

Marsha leaned forward in her chair. "So where did it go wrong, Will?"

He shifted in his chair to gain another second; now they were coming to the crucial part. "Trust, Marsha. We trusted a colleague, who did something that is unimaginable for any committed news journalist: He falsified an interview and when we noticed it, it had been too late. As soon as we did know, though, we immediately retracted the story and apologized to our viewers and of course the US military.

"And who realized what had happened?"

"That was MacKenzie McHale, the Executive Producer of News Night."

"Well, shouldn't she - or anybody else, for that matter - have noticed it earlier?" Marsha looked at Will with wide eyes, clearly trying to get a more emotional response.

"Anyone could have, and believe me, we all wish we had,..." Will, seeing through her attempt, smiled conciliatory. "...but I have to admit that it was very cleverly done, and only a tiny detail helped us to find out what had happened."

"And was what that?"

"I'm sorry, but I cannot go into that now."

"Okay, I understand. But Will..." Her face took on the look of a bear in front of a honey pot. "...I hate to bring up the past,..."

 _'Sure you do...'_ He couldn't help but think and braced himself for what was to come.

"...but thanks to an email, which was sent to a large number of people by mistake, we all know that you and your executive producer MacKenzie McHale used to be a couple, before she cheated on you and you broke up with her. Still you rehired her years later..."

 _'Here we go...'_ Will's expression became dismissive, but that didn't stop Marsha.

"Maybe she didn't get the job because of her merits but for... personal reasons?"

"I don't see what that has to do with anything, Marsha."

"You don't?" His hostess acted surprised and unbelievingly looked at her audience before going on. "But isn't it possible that you got into this mess as a result of your personal... _situation_? Maybe she was distracted and not focused on her work? I also heard that there had been an incident during her time as a field reporter, and that she was fired by CNN. Maybe she is simply not up for the job?"

Will saw red. He was prepared to take anything the media was throwing at him, but he would not allow them to drag Mac through the mud. His eyes took on an stern look and he straightened himself up, his voice icy.

"Now you listen to me: MacKenzie McHale is one of the best executive producers in the business and has an impeccable reputation, and if you don't believe me, just take a look at the two Peabodys she won. If it hadn't been for her _,_ we _still_ wouldn't know where we went wrong. Our colleague Jerry Dantana went through with an elaborate scheme to fool us. We admit that he duped us, _all of us_ , and as I said we apologized for it to our viewers and most of all to the brave men and women who risk their life for the safety of our country."

He took a deep breath and divided his attention between host and audience. "MacKenzie McHale is, next to Charlie Skinner, the Director of our News Division, the one member of our team who knows best what it is like to be in a war zone. She was a field reporter in the Middle East, embedded with our troops in Pakistan and Afghanistan. And yes, there was an _incident_..." He bore his eyes into Marsha, who was happy to get the emotional response she had been looking for, but leaned back further in her seat nonetheless. "MacKenzie was _stabbed_ by radical fundamentalists while doing her job, bringing the news to us into the safety of our living rooms, and she almost didn't survive."

Seeing that he had captured the audience with his passionate defense of Mac, he reined himself in and decided not to dwell on this any further. Although he would have gladly continued to stand up against Marsha, he realised that he could only lose if he'd go on, so he continued with a slightly softer voice. "This hasn't been anybody's fault except Jerry Dantana's, who now has the gall to sue ACN for being fired over it. We were betrayed by a member of our own team, by someone we trusted, and that hurts the most. All we can do now is to work even more diligently to never make a mistake like this again in the future, and we will do just that."

The audience erupted into applause and Marsha bowed her head, admitting her defeat. "What will you do to prevent something like this happening in the future?"

"Of course we will put all our processes to the test, will make improvements and add more safety measures wherever necessary. Most important though is the trust we have in our team. It's not meant as an excuse, but I'd like to mention that Dantana is not a member of the normal Newsnight staff but came in from another office to support us when we were stretched thin. I have complete trust in our own team and can assure you, that none of them will ever stoop to a level so low. They have a great teacher in MacKenzie McHale, one of the morst moral and ethical persons I know."

"Well, what a summation, thank you, Will. We will keep an eye on how all this will develop." Marsha smiled. "Maria, how's the turkey coming along?"

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

  
The rest of the show was unspectacular and Will even enjoyed the main course and the dessert. He managed to talk Maria into letting him take some leftovers with him, which he intended to give to Mac, being fairly sure that she had skipped lunch again.

So when he got back to ACN he put his coat into his office and took the doggy bag over to Mac's. She was studying a file with a frown on her head and had neither heard his quiet knock nor him entering the room. Will waited a moment, but when she didn't move he spoke.

„Mac, are you alright?“

„And since when do you care?“ Mac snapped without looking up, but the moment the words had left her mouth her head jolted up in horror, eyes big.

„Mac? Honey?“ Will was taken aback, to say it mildly, but he didn't say anything else and just waited.

„ _Fuck_... I'm sorry... I don't know where that was coming from..." Her expression turned to embarrassment while she stared at him. "I guess... I was so busy reading this report that I... I guess for a second I had forgotten that we don't do that anymore and... “ She didn't finish but got up, quickly walked around her desk and hesitantly put her hand on his arm, biting her lip. „I'm sorry.“

Even if Will had been angry, her contrition would have made any harsh response impossible. He kicked himself mentally for everything he had done that had gotten her to this point, and pulled her into his arms, tucking her head under his chin. "It's okay. I'm just sorry that I have put you through so much shit, that you ever thought you had to protect yourself from me. I love you, Mac."

Letting out a reliefed sigh she pressed herself into him even more before moving her upper body back to look into his eyes. "You didn't deserve that; I'm _really_ sorry."

"It's fine; I guess we are both still getting used to it." Will pressed a kiss to her lips. "Did you watch the show?"

"Yeah, I did. All things considered you did well."

" _All things considered?_ I think I did well, period."

Mac smiled, amused by the slight pout he showed, and put her hand on his chest. "You did, but I... I wish you hadn't talked about the stabbing."

Will sighed. "I knew you wouldn't like that, but I had to. If I had just let her assumptions stand in the room, the story would have just gotten bigger and everybody else would have sprung at it. They still might, but I at least had to try. And more importantly, I couldn't let her talk about you that way."

"My hero." Disarmed by his last words Mac smiled again and pulled him down for a short, hard kiss, but then she turned more serious. "Don't think I don't I appreciate it, but you shouldn't have defended me so passionately. The questions were legit and your answer will raise eyebrows."

"First of all, everything I said was true. _And_ we are engaged, so what?" Will shrugged.

"Indeed we are..." Moving up on her toes she kissed him again, softer this time. "...but nobody outside our little work family and my parents knows that yet, Billy. Did you forget?"

"Well..." Letting his hands glide down he pulled her closer. "Then it's about time we tell them, isn't it?"

"What? Now?" She looked surprised.

"Sure, or do you have anything to hide?"

"No, of course not. But let's talk to Rebecca first to see if that is a good idea with everything that is going on right now."

Will looked offended. "Hey, _I'm_ a lawyer, remember? And a pretty good one, too."

"I know, Mr. 94% Conviction Rate,..." Mac teased him with twinkle in her eye. "...but you are biased."

Will shrugged. "So? It's only a matter of time until someone finds out anyway, with all the people that were in the building on election night."

Shes sighed. She hated to be the center of attention, but she also knew that this time they wouldn't be able to avoid it. "You're probably right, but maybe we can at least try to put a lid on the story until we are through with the apology tour. HR can put out a statement later."

"That's a good idea. But for now..." Will lifted the bag in his hand. "...I've brought you lunch. I'd skip the mousse, though, if I were you."

"Mmh... Thanks, it looked great on TV. I think I have a few minutes, will you join me?"

"I've had enough, thanks. I should work on my script."

"Okay." Mac took the bag and went to her desk. "I started working on it and will email it to you, together with the first rundown. No news on Petraeus yet."

"Good." Will went to the door and turned around when she called him back.

Looking contrite she quietly said "I'm really sorry about before... I love you, Billy. "

This time it was his turn to smile and simply say "I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Too late I remembered that Will should have confronted Marsha with Mac's Peabodys when she doubted her capability so I added a sentence to that scene - My apologies.


	5. Stop The Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter has taken me so long, but you know how it is... real life plus the holidays...
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

**Stop The Dance  
**   


„I still can‘t believe that I did that. I can‘t understand why I just snapped at you earlier.“

„I do.“ They were laying on Will's comfortable couch after their usual late dinner and Mac was snuggling into his side. „And I know that it was my fault."

"What?" Shortly lifting her head Mac frowned at him. " _I_ said it, not you."

"Yeah..." He sighed and lifted a hand to play with a strand of her hair. "But it's because of my behaviour over the last years that you thought you had to defend yourself against me in the first place."

Mac was quiet for a moment and he was sure he had seen a hint of pain in her eyes before her expression changed into a rueful smile. "There's probably no use in denying that, but I also know that it only happened because of what I did to you."

"Yeah..." Will repeated and ran his finger down her arm. "But that doesn't make it okay, and I'm absolutely, one hundred percent sorry about it. About everything I did...." He took a deep breath. "You wanna talk about it now?"

Again she didn't say anything, this time for so long that only the steady, gentle circling of her fingertips on his chest assured him that she hadn't fallen asleep. "I would suggest we table our talk until the weekend. We can sleep in and have all day for it. But if there's something specific on your mind, you can tell me about it now. How about it?"

Mac nodded into his chest and, seeing the new piece of jewelry on her hand, she addressed the obvious when she spoke. "The ring. Tell me about the ring. What the hell were you thinking? Do you know how much it hurt when you showed it to me?"

"I'm sorry..." He sighed and pressed a kiss to the top of her head that was resting on his shoulder. He had the distinct feeling that apologizing would be a big part of any conversation between them. "Back then I was still determined to hurt you as much as you had hurt me. I just couldn't... I wasn't ready to forgive you..."

"I know." Mac looked up again and smiled woefully. "I can report that you were successful; I've dreamt about that moment and the ring for weeks and cursed myself every day."

Will didn't immediately know what to say and just tightened his hold around her waist before he finally spoke the truth. "I have to admit that there was a time where I would have gotten a lot satisfaction out of that... And I can't even say that I didn't intentionally hurt you...Again, I am so, so sorry...

"I can't believe that you still lied about it in hair and make-up, and an hour later you proposed!"

"More like two hours. But yeah... You know me, once I make up my mind... And your reaction the other night really helped to set my mind straight."

"So now that you _have_ made up your mind about us... Is this it? The two of us, forever?" Mac knew he was in, but something inside her made her ask the question, and her voice carried this hint of trepidation over to Will.

Hi fixed his eyes on her, because this was the one point he had to make clear to her. Everything else they had to discuss depended on the answer to this one question. It was the foundation for their future, and he did not intend to screw this up. "Most definitely. Forever, not a single doubt about that. You will not get rid of me, Honey, I promise you that."

"I'll never try." Mac looked into his eyes and swallowed hard, but suddenly she smiled. „Jim is worried about me; I don't think he really trusts you in this. He asked me if I was happy."

„Good.“

„Good?“ She frowned.

„Yep. I like that there is somebody else who is looking out for you. Though I have you know that I'm taking the lead in that from now on.“

„I wouldn't want it any other way.“ She placed a kiss on his chin and reflected on this for a few seconds. „Not that I need any protection.“

"Of course not, but still, that's my job now. You don't have any say in that, thousands of years of socio-anthropological programming, you know."

"Socio-anthropological programming? Is that a thing?" Mac's corner of the mouth twitched while she was trying to fight her smile.

"Well, _something_ must be responsible for me desperately being in love with you. I've told you, I don't have a choice." Will sneered at her, really starting to enjoy their little talk.

"You did..." Now she also openly grinned. "...but you said it was a physical law of the universe."

"Shut up, science is science." Pulling her down Will covered her lips and, deciding it was time for more pleasant activities, let his tongue probe against them.

"I take it that the talking part of the evening is over?" Mumbling against his lips Mac lifted her leg over Will's and shifted so she came to lie on top of him, letting her hands run through his hair.

"Definitely over." He put his arms around her waist and lifted his head to capture her lips again. With a sigh she let herself sink into it and let all thoughts about the ring drift from her mind.

Starting out slow he explored the cavern of her mouth until she let out repeated gasps of pleasure. Their tongues played with each other and their breathing got more and more laboured, while his hands slid under the waistband of her pyjama pants to cup her ass. Grinding down into him Mac's fingers weren't idle, and she started to open the top buttons of his shirt. Once that was done she broke the kiss and moved her lips down to his neck, where she gently sucked on his pulse point.

Will used the chance to softly bite her ear lobe before he licked a stripe to her collarbone to cover it with hot, wet kisses. "You are so beautiful, Mac..."

"You're... not... so bad... yourself..." Mac breathed heavily and sucked harder on his skin, not caring if she left a mark. Suddenly she sat up, though, and pulled her top over her head, exposing herself to Will, who could not take his eyes off her.

"Fuck!" Without a second thought he moved his hands up to her breasts, cupping them and letting his thumb run over her hardened nipples. When she moaned loudly at his touch she had craved for so long, he followed her into the upright position and latched onto her chest. With her hands buried in his hair Mac felt his hardness pressing against her and moaned again. "Billy... This feels so good... But we... I can't..."

Groaning deeply Will stopped his ministrations and buried his head in her chest, holding her tight. „Jesus, Mac!" Panting harshly he involuntarily bucked upwards. "That I agreed... to let you set the pace... doesn't mean it's easy for me to hold back!“

Equally out of air Mac sighed and drew a calming breath before she pressed a soft kiss into his hair. „I know... I'm sorry..."

Not able to hide his frustration completely, Will let himself fall back into the cushions and covered his face with his arm, but still he remembered his promise to her. "It's okay... But if you continue to tease me like that I can't guarantee for anything..." Pulling her shirt from the back of the couch he handed it to her. "Please?"

Mac complied with his insinuated request, and after she had put it back on she lowered herself onto his chest again. "Sorry, I got carried away..." She sighed. "It's not easy for me either; you don't know how often I've wanted this... It's just as I said, my brain isn't quite there yet. There are still too many 'what ifs' popping up.“

Will entangled his fingers with hers and squeezed her hand. „No 'what ifs', I'm in. I am one hundred percent in, and I will never hurt you again.“

„I know...“ Mac whispered these words just like on the first morning after their engagement, and rested her free hand on his cheek, a tear threatening to run down her own. „I love you, Will, I really really do... It's this final step... Just give me a little more time, okay?“

Will sighed. „All the time you need, I've promised you... You're in luck that I have some making up to do."

"Indeed I am..." Mac stretched to cover his lips once more. As they both now knew that the evening would still not end with what they both actually wanted, they simply kissed, exchanging tender, gentle touches to enjoy their closeness and let their passion die down a little instead of stoking the fire. Finally Mac broke the kiss.

"Billy? You do know that I'm going to pay you back with interest on this, right?"

"Wow, don't think I'll forget about that..." Will's eyes darkened while let his hands run up and down her back, but then he smiled. "Are you tired?"

"Yeah, but not as much as before. Seems like convincing myself for the last weeks that sleep is overrated doesn't make it actually true."

"I knew you hadn't slept well these past weeks..." He couldn't quite hide the worry in his voice and again buried his hand in her silky hair.

"Did _you_ with everything that has been going on?" Mac braced herself on her elbow and looked into his eyes.

"No..." Will admitted and stroked a rebellious strand behind her ear. "But I also think that nobody has beaten himself up about it as much as you."

"Yeah... Well, you can say whatever you want publicly, but that doesn't change the fact that I am responsible for the mess we are in."

"Partly. You are _partly_ responsible, Mac. Just as much as me, Charlie and the lawyers. And deep inside you know that, don't you? It's just your overly developed sense of responsibility that makes you want to take all the blame, but you can't control everything."

She sighed and put her head down on his chest for moment, but then looked back at him in protest. "But it is my job."

"And mine. And Charlie's. None of us caught it, Honey, although it was right in front of us. And you were the only one who came up with the idea of how he'd done it." Will smirked. "Come to think of it, that's quite a criminal mind you have there in your pretty head...."

Mac's lips twitched. "So don't pretend you haven't been warned when I disappear with all of your money."

"What's mine's yours..." Pressing another kiss to her lips to wipe the grin of her face he then pulled back. "Bedtime?"

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The next morning it was Mac who woke up first, but not as anxious and nervous as she had been a couple days ago. She didn't feel as vulnerable as before, but relaxed, warm and secure, and when she thought about this she realized that she had started to believe in the new reality.

She was lying on her side, Will snuggled up behind her with his arm over her waist. Smiling she carefully entangled her fingers with his. She didn't want to wake him up just yet, but enjoy their closeness. Thinking back to the past she recalled many mornings like this, which she had always taken for granted then. Now she sent a silent prayer to the deity above that the fears she'd had just a few days ago, never seeing Will again except maybe on a TV screen, had been unfounded.

From this point it didn't take her long to remember the previous night.  
It had been so incredibly hot and she had wanted him so badly, that she had almost ignored her resolve to take it slow, but something inside her had still pulled her back. She knew how aroused not only she herself but also Will had been, and she was simply grateful that he was a man true to his word, as difficult as it had been.

It was no question that she wanted him, and every passing minute she was getting surer that they were both completely in, just as he had promised her. But she also knew that this last step they were both waiting for her to take, would lead into a situation that would break her if in the end, for whatever reason, they would _n_ _o_ _t_ make it, despite of the best intentions.

Soon, she vowed to herself. Very soon she would be ready and then...

Her thought's were interrupted by Will's fingers squeezing her hand, and she felt his lips against her neck. "Mornin', Beautiful."

Smiling widely she turned around. "Hey, did you sleep well?"

"Mmmh.... I dreamt about you." His voice was raspy, but he let his hand roam across her back while she leaned in for a kiss.

"That's how it's supposed to be, isn't it?" Mac grinned and kissed him again.

"Did you dream about me?"

"For years..." As true as this statement was, she didn't want any bad thoughts spoiling the mood, so she pressed her lips to his for a third time and smiled. "And now I have you back."

"Forever, as agreed on yesterday." This time Will initiated the kiss and only stopped once Mac started to moan into his mouth. Then he pulled her to his chest and sighed. "I really missed waking up with you."

"Me, too... And I missed touching you and holding your hand.... Just... hold me?"

Pulling her even closer he rested his cheek against her hair and they both closed their eyes again. Finally he sighed. "What's on the agenda for today?"

"Work. The Petraeus story should finally pop today. And you have your TV engagements." Mac reminded him.

Will swore loudly. "I fucking hate that!"

"I know, but you don't have a choice... But, speaking of engagement...Sooner or later ours will become public. You know the press will raise questions about us having a shotgun wedding and invoke spousal privilege, right?

"Probably, but don't worry about it. We don't have anything to hide, do we?"

"No, you're right.., Let them write whatever they want, I don't care. Besides, I have always wanted a big wedding and that requires lots of planning. So if you have any special wishes, let me know soon..." Mac grinned when Will groaned in mock despair. "Oh, and don't forget to tell your sisters, or have you called them already?"

"No, not yet, I thought I'd do it during the weekend. They'll surely want to speak with you, too."

"I'm looking forward to it."

"And I'm looking forward to having you to myself for the entire weekend. With my assortment of take-out menus we won't even have to leave the apartment."

"I'm counting on it."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

After a leisurely breakfast Will and Mac went into work, where they again were summoned up to the executive floor first thing.

"Good morning, you two." Charlie smiled and pointed at the chairs in front of his desk. "Good job, yesterday, Will. Did you read the Post and the Times yet? I think you were able to set the record straight on several things."

"Thanks." Will nodded. "Nevertheless I'll be glad when it's over."

"Two more shows today, but you'll join them via satellite, so you won't have to go across town. The first one is at noon, Maggie has all the details for you. But why I have asked you up here... I haven't had a chance to talk to Rebecca yet, but should you have mentioned Dantana's fucking name on air?"

"Why shouldn't I have?"

Mac looked at Will. "Charlie is right, I forgot to ask you yesterday. Didn't you set yourself up to get sued by Dantana? Just like Don?"

"Don't worry, Honey." He smiled at her and then looked at Charlie. "I just stated facts. Don is sued for tortious interference, because according to Dantana he allegedly acted solely out of malice when he called him a sociopath and by that interfered with a potential job opportunity."

"You certainly didn't enhance his chances for a new job by mentioning his name on national TV, not that I'd mind him selling burgers or run a pretzel stand for the rest of his life." Mac scowled but then turned to their boss. "Charlie, Will and I were just talking about it... Should we release a statement in regard of our engagement once everything has settled down a little bit?"

"I've already talked about it with HR. They will prepare a short press release; maybe you should have your agent do the same, Will."

"I will. We can release them in case it leaks or a little later on our own terms."

"Right. Now that that's settled you better get down to the bullpen again. I heard something is happening at the White House."

"Petraeus?" Mac sounded hopeful. "We're ready to go, and if we're lucky the other stations will go easy on Will with this story breaking today."

"Exactly. Off you go." Charlie waved towards his office door, already picking up his landline to make a call. "Go kick butt, Will!"

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Okay, Gary, you will cover the floods and mudslides in Indonesia, Maggie takes on the massacre in Columbia and Tess, I want you to work on the attacks by the Turkish military against the Kurdish people in Hakkari. Jim, you take the lead on Petraeus, it's going to be our main story tonight, of course. You've had a good head start, so you only need to include the new details we learned today. Let me know if any interviews have to be pre-recorded. Everybody set?" Mac looked at her staffers and when no one raised any objections she adjourned the first rundown meeting of the day.

While the room emptied out she looked at Will. "You should go to hair and make-up, it's not long before the first satellite interview."

"I will. Are you okay?"

"Sure, why wouldn't I be?" She frowned.

"Just asking." Will shrugged and then grinned boyishly. "I'm allowed to now."

"I know, but I don't need you asking me that every time you see me..." Mac leaned in to quickly kiss him. "See you later, good luck."

Will didn't like to be brushed off by her, but he had to admit that she had a point.

This was work. There was nobody he trusted more to be capable of doing the job, and he would surely hardly ever ask anybody else how they were doing out of the blue. Smiling to himself he headed towards the hair & make-up room. He would try to dial it down a notch, but he knew that he would never stop worrying about Mac completely. After all, she needed to see that he cared about her, and even if that weren't the case in the future, he wouldn't be able to help himself.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

After Will had finished the first interview he left the studio to let Mac know and ask her if anything new had come up while he had been occupied. On the way to her office he noticed Sloan, Tess and Maggie snickering at him, while Don stood next to them and outright smirked in his direction. With a frown he stopped, simply looking at them.

Maggie and Tess seemed visibly uncomfortable to be confronted by him, even if it was without words. Sloan's grin, though grew wider. "I heard that somebody has a giant hickey to hide today...Exciting night?

Not the least bit embarrassed Will suggestively wiggled his eyebrows. „Wouldn't you like to know... Well, first we...“

Making a face Sloan pulled back. „Ugh, no! I may talk business, but I really don't want to hear any details. Not from _you_ , anyway.“

Before he could come up with an answer to make her even more uncomfortable, he felt a gentle hand on his back.

Mac had been watching Will and the others from the coffee station, and the only thing on her mind was how stupid she had been. Here she was, back together with the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, no doubt about that. And she wanted him, all of him. Her body longed for him, and every touch set her on fire.

He was sweet, he was caring, he had promised to never hurt her again. Hadn't he just proven that last night, having been so patient, letting her set the pace? And now he was even smiling indulgently at their friend's jokes about a sex life that didn't even exist so far... So what the fuck was she waiting for?

Okay, she did snap at him yesterday, completely forgetting that they were together again and that he wasn't out to punish her anymore, but hell, hadn't she just realized this morning that this was _it_? That they were both committed to make it work and wouldn't let the past come between them anymore?

Coming to a decision she walked over to them and put her hand on the small of Will's back, preventing another dig from Don. "Could you come with me for a second?"

Not waiting for his answer she walked to his office, correct in her assumption that he would follow her immediately. When he walked past her she closed the door behind him and pulled him into a corner, where they couldn't be seen from the bullpen.

"Thanks for saving me from the mob out there", Will sighed and put his hands on her hips. "I swear to God, next time one of them..."

"Shhh..." Mac let her hands run up his chest and leered at him. "Next time they are teasing you, just lean back and think about everything we have done the night before."

Will's mouth fell open and he gaped at her with wide eyes, only managing to stutter. "I... What... But... Do you..." He swallowed to compose himself. "Do you mean what I _think_ you mean?

"I'm pretty sure I do." She leaned up to press a kiss to his lips, but after a moment Will put his hands on her shoulders to bring a little distance between them.

„Are you sure, Mac? Just yesterday you've almost bitten my head off when I came into your office.“

„And I've told you how sorry I am for that. I'd been deep in thought and it was just a... a Pavlovian response. I _know_ we're past that, I want you, so... Let's not dance around it anymore.“

Will put his finger on her lips to silence her. „Okay, it's not that I need much convincing... But as happy as I am that you are ready for more, stop justifying yourself. It must have felt like I was running you over with a bulldozer on election night; so it's no wonder that you needed time to process everything.“

Placing a kiss on his chin Mac hummed in agreement. „Still, I owe you for your patience with me.“

„If it makes you feel better I'll collect that interest you were talking about...“ Will grinned against her forehead, while he felt a first stirring in his pants at the thought that it would only be a few more hours until he could finally make love to his fiancée. „..But actually I have to thank _you_ for trusting me.“

For a second Mac looked up at him, biting her lower lip, but then she let her finger run over his cheek and lowered her voice to whisper into his ear. „Why don't we just forget about all that for now and are _us_ again. The last days have shown that we still work as a couple and... well, tonight...? Let's see if sex is like a bottle of wine, getting better with age...“

Will laughed out loud. „We should definitely test that theory, _thoroughly_."

„Oh, don‘t worry, we will...“ Finally Mac leaned in to to kiss him fully, letting one hand trail down to his ass to squeeze it. With his mind still trying to process what was waiting for them tonight Will didn't immediately catch up, and before he could react to her tongue in his mouth she broke the kiss with a final swipe. „And I can't wait, but... that doesn't mean our talk is off the table.“

„I know that.“ Will groaned and rested his head against hers. "What I don't know right now is how I will get through the rest of the day..."

„Poor Baby...“ Mac teased laughingly. "Just don't forget that I own you; I'll have your ass if you mess up on the air..."


	6. All I ever wanted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, I know... Shame on me!
> 
> I have been on a 4 week vacation that left hardly any time to write and as a souvenir I brought a "nice" virus home with me, that forced me to stay in bed for another fortnight - Not really the right circumstances to write a chapter like this... ;-)
> 
> Despite the long wait I hope you didn't abandon this story and enjoy this chapter - Thanks for your patience!

**All I Ever Wanted  
**

Later that day, before the last rundown, Mac and Will had a late lunch in his office. While Mac enjoyed a Cesar's salad with a piece of warm, thinly buttered pita bread, Will's plate was filled with a medium sized steak, French fries and ketchup, the latter placed on a piece of lettuce that was clearly meant for show.

Judging from the looks he had gotten when the food was delivered he steeled himself for a probably unavoidable discussion about his eating habits in the near future. Right now, though, they were both preoccupied and mostly quiet, sharing an almost conspirative smile once in a while, but when Mac was loading her fork with another bite, Will spoke.

„Mac? We need to talk about... There is one thing that can't wait.“

„What is that?“ She looked up and cocked her eyebrow.

„If tonight we... If… I need to know if... if I have to go out to get condoms.“

„Oh...“ Mac remained quiet for a moment, trying to process what this question meant, but then she slowly put down her fork, checked if the door was indeed closed and got up to sit on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck while his hands immediately went to her hips. "Well, I'm not on the pill at the moment. There was no need for it."

Will was secretely relieved by this information, but stored it in the back of his mind for further use at a later date. Right now there were more important things to talk about. "Okay, so after the last rundown I will go..."

Interrupting him by putting her fingertips to his mouth she bit her lip, but then took a deep breath. "We might have to talk about it more, which would only be fair... I don't want to spring it on you, but we are both in, and if we are still on the same page... We _have_ talked about having children before and we are not getting any younger..."

Will's eyes went big and he started to stutter. "I... You...? Yes! _Of course_ I still want children. I've _always_ wanted to have a family with you!"

Mac's face broke into a huge smile and she framed his face with her hands to crushed her lips onto his for a long, hard kiss before burying her face in his shoulder and hugging him tightly. When she finally pulled back a tear glistened in her eye. "Then let's see what happens... I don't know if it will, but let's see. I can't wait."

"Okay... _Wow_..." Will, his mind still stuck on his initial question, uttered in a somewhat amazed tone. "Then... Then I guess I won't go out."

Mac's smile turned even wider and they both grinned stupidly at each other for what felt like ages, before she finally managed a wink and teasingly whispered.. "So much for taking it slow..."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The rest of the day had been hell for Will, who had more than a few problems to concentrate on the show. After Mac had to remind him of the DoJ's spokeswoman's name for the third time. she used the chance to slip into the studio during the next commercial break and placed herself between the anchor desk and the camera, bracing herself on her elbows. "I had Herb cut the feed. What's the matter, Billy?"

Will was grateful that she hadn't adoped an accusatory tone but spoke softly, although that made him feel even worse. "Sorry..." he mumbled and intertwined their fingers. "I'm kind of distracted..."

"I know." She smiled sympathetically. "Ten more minutes, do you think you can manage?"

He took a deep breath. "Yeah, I'll do better."

"I'm sorry, I guess I shouldn't have said anything this afternoon." She blushed adorably and Will quickly squeezed her fingers.

"I'm glad you did. I'll manage to focus, I promise."

Smiling Mac moved up and adjusted his tie. "25 seconds."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

When Will stepped out of the bathroom adjoining his office where he had changed into his own clothes, surely having set a all-time personal record, Mac was already waiting for him. Apparently she also didn't feel like spending one minute more at the office tonight than absolutely necessary, the thought of which made his heart miss a beat. "Hey."

"Hey." Her expression was calm and she smiled, but she couldn't completely hide an underlying nervousness. "Are you ready?"

"God yes, let's get outta here..." Will grabbed his coat and held out his hand which she took without hesitation. Hand in hand they crossed the bullpen, wishing the staff a happy weekend on the way, but eyes clearly fixed on the exit. When they entered the elevator he put his arm around her shoulder and pressed a kiss to into her hair. "Finally."

"Yeah..." Mac sighed and leaned into him for the short ride down, but in the car they simply held hands again, his thumb gently stroking her soft skin. She didn't mind, for she knew that once they'd got started this time, there wasn't much of a chance that they'd be able to stop. So they both remained still, just relaxing into each other until they arrived and the elevator doors opened to Will's apartment.

When they stepped inside Will stopped almost immediately and disentangled himself from Mac to be able to look into her eyes. Letting his hands run down her arms he smiled and again only managed to say "Hey."

"Hey." Her voice was mirroring the soft tone he had used and, to Will's delight, she blushed slightly.

"You are beautiful." Before she could say anything he leaned forward to press a tender kiss to her lips, lingering for just a moment. "Are you hungry?"

Mac bit her lip and shook her head. "Let me just freshen up a little so that I don't feel like I'm covered in toner and ink; I'll be right back."

"Of course. Here, let me help you." Will took her jacket from her shoulders. Once he had hung both their garments on the coat rack he went into the living room to wait for her, but after a moment's hesitation he continued into his bedroom.

He was nervous and felt unprepared. He now thought that he should have taken Mac out to dinner first and make this one of the most romantic evenings they'd ever shared, but all he had been able to think about after that pivotal conversation in the afternoon was that this was _it_. That tonight he would finally be able to make love to MacKenzie, the woman he had loved for so long.The only woman he had _ever_ loved.

He took off his shoes and his sweater, but then he looked around and decided that he could at least give her something.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Mac was standing in front of the mirror and took a deep breath.  
She was nervous, she couldn't deny that, but this feeling was literally dwarfed by the excitement she felt about what was going to happen. She had waited six endless years for this moment without knowing if it would ever come, but now she needed another minute more to assure herself that it was here. Not because she had any doubts, definitely not, but to understand that this last step would give her everything she had ever wanted.

A smile played around her lips when she thought back to their first first time. It had happened on their third date and she had to admit that as much as she had wanted to take it slow _this time_ , back then she had clearly shown him that she wanted him, just like she had done today. Will had been as eager as her back then, although she was sure it would have taken him several more dates to take any action on his own, but once she had made her desire clear, he'd been right there and worshipped her body for hours. If she knew Will at all, that was what she could expect from him tonight as well, and just the thought of it let the heat pool between her thighs.

Sighing Mac forced herself back to reality, went to the bag she had packed a few days ago and peeked inside. She hadn't brought her sexiest underwear but a few nicer pieces she hadn't worn in a long time, so she quickly undressed, freshened up and then changed. After a quick brush through her hair she dabbed a little perfume behind her ear and took a deep breath. This was _it_.

When she opened the bathroom door, only wearing one of Will's shirts, and stepped back into the bedroom, she gasped. While she had been gone Will had dimmed the light and an array of candles lit the room. Soft music filled the air and he was waiting for her with a smile and a couple of champagne flutes in his hands.

He carried the same air of nervousnesss she felt, but still seemed sure and confident at the same time. He waited for her to step up to him and then handed her one of the glasses. "To us, Honey."

"To us." Mac took a sip of champagne and smiled back at him, touching his forearm with her free hand and and running it down to entangle their fingers. Will's eyes darkened and he emptied his drink with one gulp. He then put both their glasses onto the dresser and turned back to frame her face with his hands. Roaming her features his eyes settled on hers, the intensity of his gaze burning right into her soul.

"I love you, MacKenzie Morgan McHale, I love you so much." When he leaned in Mac swallowed hard and a deep sigh escaped her right before their lips met. Although Will's touch was gentle, just as she had longed for, it hit her like a bolt of lightning.

Still it started slow. Will softly pressed his lips against hers, hardly noticable, then placed featherlight kisses to her nose and cheeks before returning to her mouth, whispering "You are really sure this is a good idea?"

"It's a _very_ good idea..." she murmered against his lips. "Now shut up and kiss me."

"Mmmh..." Catching her lips again Will let his tongue run over her bottom lip, and when she yearningly opened herself for him he started to explore. Mac let herself fall into the kiss and closed her arms around his neck. With her eyes closed she was completely focused on the arousal that was coursing through her veines, but after a short while she needed to feel more of Will. She let her arms run down his back and pulled the shirt out of his pants to touch his skin, raking her nails across it. As a response Will growled and moved his hands from her face down to cup her behind and pull her closer. He ground into her, but then he let go and took a small step back, causing Mac to emit a quiet whimper.

With a concentrated look on his face he carefully opened the shirt buttons from top to bottom, before he very slowly stroked it from her shoulders, revealing her soft skin inch by inch. When it fell to the ground he didn't waste a second on picking it up but let his fingers run to the cleavage presented to him , following his eyes that drank in the sight of her. "You look truly gorgeous..."

Sighing she put her hands on his lower arms, running them down to his wrist and holding them there for a moment, but then she started to open the buttons on his own shirt. "I love you, Billy. And I've _missed_ you so much..."

Every piece of skin she revealed got covered in kisses and she lingered at his nipples, sucking and teasing them before she moved further down. When she reached his belly button Will framed her face again and pulled her up for a kiss while walking her over to the bed.

"First of all I need to taste you." His voice sounded gravelly and his eyes were intense and dark. He put his hands on her shoulders to encourage her to sit down and then knelt down in front of her. Mac's breath quickened when his fingers lightly ran up her legs and caressed the soft skin behind her knees. Then he gently parted her legs a little further and bent forward to press feathery kisses to the inside of her thighs. Working his way up all Mac could do was thread her fingers through his hair and push him to where she really wanted to feel him, but Will had his own game plan.

He had dreamt of this moment so many times during their time apart, that it now felt unreal that they were really here. He had more often than not woken up at some point during his vivid dreams, left aching for her and his own release. Right now he was almost tempted to pinch himself to see if this was real, but instead he decided to just indulge in the situation.

His index fingers moved up to her panties and trailed along the hem to the front, before he slipped them underneath to take their way back to her hips, where he started to slowly peel the black garment down. After he had removed them completely he lifted himself up to kiss her hungrily, and she flung her arms around him. They both were breathing heavier by now and let out desperate noises.

When Mac lowered herself onto the bed she pulled Will with her so that he came to lie on top of her, his knees still on the rug in front of the bed. When he moved his lips to her neck and started to suck hard on her pulse point, all she could do was dig her fingers into his shoulders and moan deeply. Turning her head to give him better access she raised her legs around his waist and tried to pull him closer, but he refused and pressed hot, open-mouthed kisses to her skin.

He continuously moved further down until he reached the valley of her breasts. Mac arched her back to feel him closer and buried her fingers in his hair again, pushing and pulling to get him where she wanted. "Touch me, Billy, please..."

"All in good time, my love..." Will pushed the straps of her bra as far down her shoulders as he could and took one of her taut nipples into his mouth. Even though the fabric was still in between them a hot spark went right down to her core and she gasped. No longer able to hold still she grabbed the collar of his skirt and pulled it down. When she lifted her upper body to get him to take it off he used the chance to open the clasp of her bra and it fell down, exposing her firm breasts to his captivated eyes.

"MacKenzie..." Will's voice was only a breath and all he could do was repeat himself. "Gorgeous..."

He reverently framed them with his hands, remembering their perfect fit from years past, and let his thumb run over the stiff peaks. He couldn't remember how often he had longed for this sight, and it was still hard to believe for him that he would not have to miss playing with and caressing them anymore.

Impatiently he shook his shirt off and placed his arms around her, this time teasing her breasts with his mouth. Mac moaned loudly when he ran his tongue around her nipples and then started to suck on them. "Oh God, Will. That feels..." She let out a shaky sigh and arched into his touch.

Her words and sounds made him even harder, uncomfortably so, and he had to adjust the hard-on in his jeans before he could move further down. He placed a row of kisses on her stomach, dipping his tongue into her belly button, to reach his final destination. Eagerly expected by Mac she opened her legs even wider and put her hands on his head to push him to her core.

With a long, slow stroke of his tongue Will took a first taste and was immediately addicted again, like he had been since the first time they had made love. Her tangy flavour sparked a myriad of memories and he inhaled deeply before the second stroke led him to her clit. Mac let out a another deep moan once he touched it, setting off an even fiercer fire within them both. Nothing could hold him back now and he licked, sucked and nibbled with abandon, until he felt her legs starting to quiver and her muscles contract.

Getting ever louder Mac tosssed her head left and right. Her fingers were now digging into the sheets and she bucked her hips up into Will's face until she went rigid for a short moment and cried out her pleasure.

When she fell back onto the bed Will followed up with a few leisurely licks to feast on her juices that were running freely and then moved up to lie next to her. He tenderly moved his hand over her stomach while watching her pant harshly. "That was amazing, Honey."

Mac let her eyes fall on him. "You didn't... forget...."

"Not a thing." He bent down to put a row of gentle kisses to her face, but soon Mac framed his face with her hands and pulled him down completely. "I love you, Billy."

Her voice was just a whisper, but her hands then determinately made her way to to his waist, where she opened the button of his pants with a twist of her thumb and index finger while fiercely kissing him. Once his garment was open she slid her fingers under the waistband of the underlying boxers and pushed the fabric down beneath his ass. Will assisted by shortly lifting his hips but never broke the kiss until he had to turn slightly to completely take off the pants. Then he lowered himself down again and leaned on his arms he had placed left and right of her head. "I love you, too."

Mac's face lit up and she wasn't sure she would ever get enough of hearing these words from him. " _Forever_ , Billy."

Lifting her head she gave him another passionate kiss, but then she let her hand run down his chest to find his hard length that insistently pressed against her thigh. She tenderly stroked it up and down and gave him a teasing smile. "Who do we have here?"

Will let out a deep groan and couldn't help but thrust into her hand. "Someone who would like to renew his acquaintance with you..."

"Then what is he waiting for?" Mac gave his dick a last squeeze and then put her leg around his waist to pull him down. When he probed against her entrance she couldn't contain a moan and raised her hips to close the distance between them. Then he finally started to enter her and she let out a whimpered sigh, clutching his shoulders.

Will felt like he had entered heaven. It was all familiar but new at the same time, and for a second he closed his eyes to commit everything he felt this moment to memory. When he opened them again he did the same with Mac's face, cheeks flushed, a thin film of sweat covering her skin and so incredibly beautiful.

Once fully sheathed he forced himself to pause to let her adjust to his size, but only managed to hold back for so long. With a deep groan he pulled back, but pushed forward again immediately. It took him a moment to find a rythm, remembering that Mac usually liked it when he started slow but then picked up speed once she was nearing the point of no return.

Mac was continuously moaning by now and dug her fingers into Will's back, inciting him even more. Still her gaze never faltered, her eyes glazed over with arousal. When Will started to thrust harder her hips bucked to meet him and he could feel her muscles starting to twitch. He was so close himself but wanted her to come a second time, so he moved one of his hands down between them and placed his finger on her nub, circling and teasing it.

"Oh fuck... _Fuck_ , Billy!"

"I know..." Will was breathing heavily and sweat was gathering on his forehead. "Come for me, Mac, come for me."

By now he was slamming into her uncontrollably and when she tightened around him he allowed himself to let go with a guttural groan. His hips jerked with each spurt until he was completely spent and his quivering arms could not support him anymore.

Mac welcomed him in her arms and only slowly let her legs slide back onto the mattress. She revelled in feeling Will's weight on top of her which she had missed for so long. It had always made her feel loved and protected to be engulfed by his impressive frame, and that was no different now.

She had secretely wondered if it might be like riding a bike - you never forget - but she hadn't been sure. Not the act itself, of course not, but the way they just fit together, if they would still know what the other liked as if not a day had passed since the last time they had been together. As it turned out, she had been right. She still remembered the sensitive spot on his neck and how he got off on her being vocal, while he hadn't forgotten the way she liked to be kissed and touched and stroked.

So often she had thought about this, that after a while she had wondered if her memories might had deluded her and elevated their former love life to unrealistic levels, but now it turned out to be everything she had remembered and more.

For a long moment neither one of them moved nor said anything, but finally, with his last energy, Will heaved himself off her to lie on his back.

"Wow..." Even after several minutes Mac was still panting, but gave him a blissful smile. "Remind me... why... we decided... to wait?"

Will, as much out of breath as her, leaned over and placed a gentle, lingering kiss on her lips."That was unbelievable... and we did everything right."


	7. Something To Talk About

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weekend, finally...

**Something To Talk About  
**

Mac and Will had both quickly fallen asleep after their love making. and when she stirred for the first time the next morning Will's bedroom was already bathed in bright sunshine. He was spooning her, his arm slung around her waist, and she couldn't help but smile when she remembered the night before.

It had been mind-blowing, and although she knew that this weekend bore the chance of much hurt when they finally sat down to talk, she was glad that she had gotten over her doubts the day before already.

Not only had it just been... well, worth it, _definitely_ , but she had wanted to give Will this proof of her trust in him, in _them_. He had been so patient with her, endured her mixed signals like riling him up and then stopping him, even snapping at him without any reason, that she didn't want to make him – and herself -wait any longer. Their impending talk was important and necessary, she knew that, but she was certain that nothing said would change that they were both in. They knew the topics that had to be dealt with, the facts were clear. Now they only had to get to why everything had happened, what had been their motivation.

Mac carefully turned around underneath Will's arm to face him. He looked younger in his sleep, his blonde hair tousled and his features relaxed. Just like the days before she was grateful that she got to be here next to him, to not only be part of his professional but also his personal life again, and she wasn't sure this feeling would ever completely disappear.

She couldn't resist and carefully stroked back some of the stray hair, before she let her hand trail down, softly running it over his shoulder and arm so that it came to rest between them. With a silent sigh she snuggled into his chest and closed her eyes. Another hour of sleep surely wouldn't hurt.  


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  


When she woke up again, more like two hours later, Will was awake. He had brought a little space between them to be able to look at her, and when she opened her eyes she was greeted by his soft smile.

"Mornin', Beautiful."

"Morning, Handsome." Mac almost purred and stretched her body. "It's Saturday."

"It is. You can sleep as long as you want." Will caught her hand when her arm came down and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.

"I'm good. I was awake earlier and managed to get another..." she glanced at the alarm on the nightstand behind him. "...couple of hours." For the first time in weeks, if not months, Mac felt thoroughly rested, and although she didn't intend to get up yet, she was wide awake.

"You're really good? No regrets about last night?" Will seemed worried, but Mac immediately reassured him with a wide smile.

"Definitely not." Moving closer she lightly ran her fingers up to his neck and pulled him towards her. "It was wonderful." She kissed him. "And I _really_ want to do it again."

The next kiss lasted longer and Will couldn't help but let his own hand cup her firm ass. Starting out slowly the kiss quickly heated up and only when they both were moaning into each other, Will reluctantly pulled back to remind her. "That's good to hear, but we wanted to talk today."

"I know..." Mac pressed a kiss to his chin and then looked at him. "But we are in, right? We are both in."

"Yes, of course." he smiled. "That's why it's important that we talk."

"Mmh... I know... But... I feel like... Maybe we should... you know... get it out of our system first?" Mac expectantly bit her lip while her hand slowly travelled down his chest.

Will's eyes darkened even further and he smirked while mumbling against her lips. "As if that could ever happen..."

Mac pulled back a little and grinned. "I'd say it's time for you to collect your interest."

"Oh God..." Her words alone let Will groan and she giggled while following the way of her hands. She lingered over his chest, teasing his sensitive nipples with her tongue, while her fingers trailed over his cock that was beginning to harden rapidly. It gave her a satisfying feeling of power to see that he was still reacting to her as strongly as in the past, and she let out a contented sigh signalling just that.

When Will let out another deep groan she looked up and grinned. "Like it?"

"Do you even have to ask?"His breathing had already gotten heavier, and by the time she moved even lower he was starting to pant. Mac took her time to place a row of kisses onto his stomach, enjoying the feeling if his twitching muscles , before she followed the smattering of hair that led further down.

When she reached his dick, that was standing at full attention by now, she kissed the tip almost chastily before she softly enveloped it with her hand and started to stroke it up and down.

"Fuck... Mac!" Will involuntarily raised his hips for more friction, causing Mac to hum in appreciation. To comply with his unspoken request she sped up her movements and added a little more pressure. At the same time she let the tip of her tongue run along his shaft, before she took its head into her mouth.

Moaning loudly Will put his hands on top of her head, forcing himself not to pull on her hair. The feelings running through him were indescribable, and the only words coming to his mind and out of his mouth were a litany of definitely x-rated expletives and religious... well, right now he wasn't capable of figuring out if he should call them prayers or if it was just pathetic pleading.

He had been dreaming about this for so long, conjuring up memories like this whenever his yearning for MacKenzie had boverwhelmed him, that he knew he wouldn't last long. He could already feel a tingling in his spine, but Mac obviously still knew him very well and eased off just that little bit, that allowed him to hang onto his last bit of control.

However, his reprieve only lasted a short moment, then she intensified her ministrations again, sucking lewdly with hollowed out cheeks, and when she used her free hand to let her nails run over his balls he knew that was it. "Mac, I..." was the only warning he could give her, before he reached his limit and emptied himself into her mouth with a loud groan.

Mac didn't let off until he was completely spent, and only then she slowly let his softening cock slide out. With a satisfied grin she moved up to lie next to Will, who had his eyes closed and was panting harshly. "Fuck!"

Giggling she leaned into him and nestled her face into his neck, placing soothing kisses on his skin. "I trust... the service... was to your... satisfaction?"

Instead of answering a few seconds later Will moved up onto his elbow and looked down at her. "It was amazing... Thank you."  
Then he looked down her naked body and a lazy smile showed on his face. Without another word he let his free hand trail down from her shoulder to her breasts, where he teased her nipples into stiff peaks, before moving it further to the vee of her legs, all the while his eyes never left hers.

Mac realized his intention immediately and protested weakly. "You don't need to... That was for _you_ , Billy."

"Oh believe me, this is still part of your interest payment," Will assured her, smirking. "You know how much I love to watch you come."

Mac blushed adorably, but she didn't say anything else. Instead she relaxed into the pillows and waited for him to take action, after all it wasn't like what she had done before had left herself unaffected.

When Will leaned in to touch her lips she sighed and looped her arms around his neck. After he'd had the chance to worship her body last night, his kisses quickly got a little harder and rougher, and she loved every moment of it.

Still kissing he let his finger run through her already wet folds and then circled her clit with his thumb, making her moan into his mouth. His index finger just barely entered her, definitely teasing her, and he grinned against her lips when she impatiently dug her fingernails into his skin. "Billy!"

Finally he let his finger slide completely into her and slowly pumped it in and out, while his eyes were still focused on hers. It was true, he enjoyed nothing more than watching his MacKenzie in ecstasy, and they way she was splayed out right now – her skin flushed, legs spread open for him, a look of pure pleasure on her face and the sound of longing, throaty noises – was the perfect picture of a, no, _the_ woman in his bed.

Adding a second finger he sped up and it didn't take long until he felt Mac's inner muscles contract. "Look at me, Mac."

It took her a moment but then Mac opened her eyes as requested, even if only half, her gaze hooded. She bucked her hips to ride Will's fingers harder and when he whispered "I love you, MacKenzie." she came around him with a long-drawn-out moan.

It took her a quite some time to catch her breath, and when she finally came back to reality she was tucked into Will's side, covered by a warm blanket.

"Fuck..."

Will chuckled at her reaction, but when she didn't say anything else he followed up. "Penny for your thoughts..."

"I was so right..." Mac looked up at him and sighed dreamily.

"About what?"

"About sex being like a good bottle of wine, don't you think?"

"I'm gonna start collecting wine right now." He smiled and pressed a light kiss to her nose. "We should get up soon or we won't make it out of bed all day."

Mac sighed. "Okay, let's take a shower, get some coffee and then talk."

"Got it out of your system?" Will smirked while using her previous words and was rewarded with a playful slap.

"Shut it..." Her grin ruined the desired effect, so she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him hard. "For that _I'm_ taking a shower now while _you_ can start the coffee..."

He pouted, but admitted that it was probably a good idea for them to cool it down a little before sitting down for their conversation. The conversation he wanted to have but dreaded at the same time, so after another kiss to her lips he moved away from her and got up to go into the kitchen.  


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  


After they both had their shower as well as a quiet breakfast they sat down on the couch in the living room, both agreeing that they should avoid the intimacy of their bed for this.

They placed their coffee on the table in front of them and faced each other, their bodies not touching but still within arms length. Mac grimaced. "Are we doing this all in the wrong order? I mean, talking about having kids before anything else?"

"You've just said we are both in, right?" When she nodded he went on. "I can assure you that nothing that will be said here today will drive me away. I meant it two and a half years ago when I said 'I'm in' and I mean it now. _I'm in_ , Mac... So no, there is no right or wrong order and there are not right or wrong answers."

He saw her relax, so he took her hand and took a deep breath.

"Okay, let me start with saying this: Except for the one thing you did wrong you did everything right; I realised that the other night. Everything else was on me and I don't know why I didn't see that before. I'm really, really sorry."

Mac reassuringly squeezed his hand. "We both made mistakes, Billy, it wasn't all on you. We just... we should try not to get into a blame game, both of us have things to apologize for."

"Okay then..." He smiled nervously. "How do you want to do it? We could check off a list or take turns with questions or...?"

"You made a list?" Mac actually sounded a little impressed.

"I was speaking literally, Honey. No, I didn't make a list, but of course I know what I want to talk about."

"Okay..." she breathed in deeply. "Let's take turns then. You start."

Mac was prepared for Will's first question being the big one about her cheating on him, but was surprised when he spoke.

"Your scar..."

Giving him a weak smile she unconsciously put her free hand where the scar was hidden by her shirt. "I appreciate you not mentioning it last night."

"I'd heard rumours..."

"I didn't want to be the story. If it hadn't been me but any other person, nobody would have even bothered to learn the victim's name, not to speak of broadcasting it on prime time news."

"But you are alright? No long term damage?" Will shortly looked down and softly let his finger run over her shirt where he knew the scar was, when she gave him a comforting smile and shook her head. "Does it still hurt?"

"No." She paused and thought about her answer for a moment. "Not physically, at least."

"What do you mean?"

Again she didn't reply immediately, but then continued tentatively. "The memories don't just disappear... I do still have the occasional nightmare... It got a lot better, but when I'm stressed or feeling particularly vulnerable, it sometimes happens again."

Will remained quiet and his face took on an expression of self-loathing. "So... Another thing to blame me for, seeing my behaviour towards you over the past two and a half years."

"No, Billy. I've just said it got better. And when it does happen, it's mainly when we cover violent stories from the Middle East that involved civilians or journalists." She etched a little closer and softly stroked his hair.

"Mainly." Will repeated the word, sounding bitter.

"Please don't blame yourself. _I_ don't. And except for a couple of nights during the Genoa research I haven't had a nightmare in a long time."

"I'm so sorry, Mac. For everything." Will looked absolutely contrite and sad, so Mac quickly took his hand.

"I'm fine, really. I've seen a therapist for a while after my return and she's helped a lot."

"I'm glad about that..." Will paused and thought for a second. "Is that why you made me see Abe again? Well, Jack now? Not just because I couldn't sleep, but to get my head out of my ass?"

"No, I did that because you were an idiot to stop going in the first place." Mac winked, but pressed his fingers reassuringly. "Did Jack help you?"

"Yeah, he did" he admitted. "Once I was prepared to listen to what he had to say."

" As long as it got you here..." She smiled. "I'm glad."

"Me, too." Will returned her smile. "Okay, your turn. That is if it's okay for you to talk about your time in the Middle East another time? I really want to hear about it, but I think for now we should talk about other things, don't you?"

Turning serious again Mac nodded and then looked down at her hands, gathering her thoughts. "The ring."

He was confused. "We've talked about the ring. Is there anything else you want to know about it?"

"The price... You didn't say how much it cost, but I know enough about diamonds to..." She met his eyes. " _Why_ , Will?"

Will sighed. "I wanted you to like it. I had told myself it was just so it would hurt you even more, but that's not true." He gave her a sad smile. "I knew that I would never buy a ring for any other woman. I really wanted it to be yours, so I chose one I knew you would like."

She sadly shook her head. "I should have known when you showed it to me. You've made good money when we were together, but not that much." She laughed bitterly. "And what person in its right mind would have a ring in the office drawer – in another city – three years after the break-up?"

"I _wasn't_ in my right mind, you know that. I'm sorry, Hon..." Her obvious pain helped him make the next suggestion. " Listen, I don't want you to think about this every time you look at your hand. If you want to, we can go to Tiffany's right now and get you another ring. Just say the word."

Mac remained quiet for a while, intensely studying the piece of jewellery on her finger, Will was holding his breath, but when she finally looked up, she smiled. "No, I love it. It's perfect. And once we've settled all this, it will only remind me of how strong we are and that nothing can keep us apart."

Will sighed with relief. "Okay... Anything else about the ring?"

Mac shook her and was just about to ask another question, when she remembered that it was his turn and murmered "Sorry."

"What is it?" He smiled encouragingly and let a finger trail over her hand before catching her pinky with his to not lose the contact. "Go ahead."

She blushed. "I was just thinking... Yesterday you've said you don't have any condoms here,.. Not even just in case...?" Her voice trailed of, but clearly displayed her curiosity.

"I threw the last ones out..." Will hesitated but then went on. "I didn't need them anymore."

Mac's breath hitched. "Does that mean...?"

"I haven't just randomly dated in a long time, Mac." His answer was stated as a simple fact. "No use in trying to get you out of my mind when my thoughts always were with you... And in the spirit of full disclosure... The dates didn't end up in the bedroom very often..."

"The neurosurgeon?"

Will shook his head.

"And I always thought you'd just got better at avoiding page six." Smiling Max leaned in to press a soft kiss to his lips, but then she bit her lip. "If that is true... Nina. What about Nina?“

His face took on a slightly embarassed look. „She isn't the devil, you know? She did have some good sides.“

Before Mac could stop herself the words were out of her mouth. „In bed?“

Will knew that the answer would hurt her, but he had promised to be honest. „I can't deny that sex was part of our relationship. But...“ He saw the pain in her eyes though she surely had to have known that they hadn't been in a purely platonic relationship for six months.

„Mac, listen: There wasn't a single moment during that time where I thought that I would be spending the rest of my life with her. It was a distraction, it was company and...“ He quickly took her hand. „...yeah... it was another way to get to you. I'm sorry.“

She swallowed hard, trying not to dwell on the last sentence, even though at that point in the past she had thought that he had overcome his need to punish her. "So... You just used her?"

"No, I..." he stopped and reconsidered. "Yeah, I guess in a way I did.... But she knew what she was getting into. She knew that I was in love with you."

Mac was confused. "You _told_ her?"

Will took her hand and his voice was soft. "No, I told _you_. Remember? She'd heard the voicemail message I left for you..."

She gasped at the logical conclusion of what his message had contained and looked at him with wide eyes. "You said...? Will, how the fuck am I supposed to remember? You've never told me what that fucking message said!"

Will paled in shock. She was right, he had never given her an answer, always pretended to not remember... _Fuckfuckfuckingfuck!_ "Oh my God..., you are right... Fuck! Again, I'm so sorry, Mac."

His voice was pleading now, but Mac remained quiet and looked at their fingers. Of course she'd had her suspicions about the content of the voicemail message, but right now she couldn't focus on the time they had lost because she had never received it. Suddenly she abruptly stood up and moved away a couple of steps.

"So... You...You knew that you were in love with me, but you still wanted to punish me? You knew that _she_ knew you are in love with me, and still you chose _her_ to exert that punishment?"

She closed her eyes for a moment, and when she opened them again they were full of pain and her voice trembled. "Not only did you choose _her_ , even though you claim you were in love with _me._ No, you chose _her_ although you knew that _she_ was the reason I never got the message in the first place. You chose _her_ and wouldn't even tell _me_ what the message said? That is..."

"Honey, I..." Will had also gotten up and laid his hands on her shoulders, but she immediately shook them off, retreating another step.

"Don't touch me right now, Will."


End file.
